Having a grateful heart!

It has been so easy for Mike and I to get caught up in the negative aspects of our life. We aren't able to have any children of our own, we haven't been matched yet, or the fact that the other couple got chosen in this last situation. But God has convicted us to see His hand at work in all things. Tonight my husband and I realized that we are quite selfish and easily dissatisfied with what He has given us or the way He is doing things in our lives. But He also gave us a greater understanding for Him and how He desires us to be as His children.

Since starting this adoption process, we heard from some of the people at the agency that Mike and I are the "ideal couple" and should be matched quickly with a birthmom. We lived off those words..."ideal couple" and "matched quickly" became the terms we used to tell people why we thought we would be parents soon. And soon they were the words that filled our egos and gave us hope in something that God did not provide. Sure, the agency probably wasn't just yanking our chain when they said that but we took it and ran with it. So when this past birthmom came up, we pretty much assumed that Mike and Kim Wise, the "ideal couple" at our agency would be chosen. Little did we know that God was going to use this situation to humble us and bring us on our knees in repentance before Him.

We now see so much more clearly, as if the opaque covering was lifted from our eyes. Not that this should come as a shock to most of you who know us but we are sooo not "ideal." I know...big shock! We are far from it. We have baggage and drama and we are completely imperfect. There is nothing that makes us any more special than the next couple. And for the first time in months, we are so grateful to have an understanding about that. We are also grateful for God allowing us to be passed on by that birthmom. He knows what He is doing and that fact that she felt a peace about the couple she chose is reason enough to be praising God. To find peace in a situation like that for her is truly something that only God can provide. And through this situation, we will be matched with someone who feels a peace about us. The imperfect couple that we are. Lastly, we are so joyful for that couple. They get to be parents of that child and love and cherish it. And maybe they have been waiting for a long time to be matched with a birthmom...longer than us...and now they are able to see God working in this situation. He is allowing His timing and will to be done for them because that is how He planned it from the beginning. How dare we question Him and His will.

Ok so I know this is a ridiculously long post but tonight was a good night....and tomorrow WILL be a great day. Tomorrow I will wake up and see God in all things and be grateful. For the breaths I take, for the husband He has blessed me with, for the rain, for my job, for the friends and family He has given me, and for the hope I have in Him. We may not get "the call" tomorrow or the next day but I can hope that the day will come...and I am grateful that my God already knows which day!

God obviously has other plans...

Well Anita called us today and told us that the birthmom picked a different couple today. Feeling a little sad but realizing that God must have known that this wasn't the best situation or that there is something way better for us.

Thanks for praying for us and please continue to pray for this birthmom as she is nearing the end of her pregnancy.

Potentially good news!

This week has been an eventful one. Mike and I have been feeling a little down because we feel like our agency just isn't communicating with us about where we are in the process. So we sent an email to the social worker who deals with birthmoms (and one to our social worker Anita) telling them how we were feeling and asking for any updates. The other social worker wrote us back saying we have been shown twice but that we weren't chosen and there is another potential birthmom but she is really early in her pregnancy so they aren't showing her any families for a couple months. We felt sooooo discouraged by this because she was the one who kept telling us that we are going to get matched super quick. This was not a good week.....

UNTIL...

Our social worker Anita called me a couple days ago and said that she has a birthmom who is 34 weeks along and who will probably be delivering early due to some health issues (the girl just found out she was pregnant 2 weeks ago!!!). And because there is a chance that the baby will be a preemie, Anita was calling to see if we would be okay being shown to her!!! Anita met with her yesterday and gave her our profile book to look at. Then the birthmom (who is hoping to choose a couple very very soon) will decide who she wants to meet with and ultimately be matched with.

We are soo excited but also trying to remember that she may not choose us still. We have to be realistic in the situation but can't help but getting a little giddy about the prospect of being parents in just a few weeks time!

Ways for you to be praying this week...pray that she likes us and that we hear from Anita this week with some GREAT news! We really urge you everyone to be praying for the health of the birthmom who has been at the hospital on bedrest for a couple weeks and the baby since it will most likely be delivered preemie. And lastly, pray for our hearts that we can patiently wait a little bit more, that we can also get excited, but remembering that God may have a different birthmom picked out for us.

But ultimately we want to praise God for this great step forward. We have been praying for that for a couple weeks and it is so great to really see His hand in all this!!!

Looking back on 2009...

Since today is the last day of 2009, I am starting to think back to what a crazy year this was. Mike and i celebrated our 4th anniversary together with a great vacation to Palm Springs...we moved to a great home in Irvine...these are some of the good things we remember. But this year was also one of the hardest years I have ever experienced. We started seeing a specialist for infertility...went on infertility meds and after a long unsuccessful 3 months of those we officially started the adoption process.....watched over 10 friends get pregnant and have their babies...

And sooo much more. We also have been very very blessed with amazing friends who have walked with us in all these good and bad times.

Things we are looking forward to in 2010...bringing home our first baby!!!! And along the same lines, I cannot wait to see Mike hold our baby and be a dad. He is going to love our children so much. Becoming a mommy in 2010 will be an amazing adventure! I know this year will have ups and downs too but I think that God has strengthened us and prepared us individually and together to walk forward into this year with our heads held up high and knowing that this year will be GREAT!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Love, The Wise Family

Merry Christmas!

Well it is 11AM on Christmas morning and the skies in Southern California are clear so it should be a beautiful day. Today we have spent time opening our gifts for each other and are now taking our extremely dead, fire hazard of a tree down. But we truly want to remember what today is about. We remember our Savior's miraculous birth to the virgin Mary and rejoice that God planned it is such a beautiful way. It amazes me how the man who would die to save us of our sins and who created our every being would be a baby....dependent on his mother's milk for his own survival. Yet now it is us who are dependent of him and his word for our survival. Praise God!

Mike and I are also realizing that today was the day that we were hoping to have a baby home with us...God had other plans. It's just us two still but rejoicing knowing that He is in complete control. I'm not saying that we aren't a smidge disappointed but looking forward to seeing what God's timing looks like from here on out.

I hope you and your loved one's are enjoying this day and rejoicing for CHRIST IS BORN!!!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Sorry for not being a faithful blogger!

Well I apologize for not being good at blogging lately. I am kinda taking a little break from blogging to deal with some minor medical issues and get through the holidays.

Thanks for reading this blog (to my 5 faithful followers)!!! I promise I will update you with any new info on our adoption or life in general as it comes up!

Update from our Social Worker

Mike and I have definitely felt very discouraged in this waiting time. After getting an email from the agency the week of Thanksgiving saying that our file is STILL incomplete and that they haven't shown us to any birthmoms, we felt lost. We were so sad because the agency was so encouraging that we wouldn't have to wait a long time to be matched but then we felt like they weren't doing anything to help that move along. Our of the blue our social worker writes us this week to just check in. Talk about an answer to prayer...we had been hoping that someone would contact us and it not always be in our court.

I wrote Anita (our social worker) back and told her how we were feeling and asked for either some encouragement or a reality check. Not even 24 hours later she responded with a great email letting us know that our file should be complete very very soon and that she found out we were recently shown to a birthmother!!! I mean...this woman may not choose us but we were just so happy that we are really moving along in this process. I had happy tears!

We know that this is in God's timing and God is definitely on our side. He knows exactly how much we can handle and i think he knew that we were getting close to the end of our rope. God is so good...we are still praying for a baby to be home with us very soon!

Praise God with us!

Family and Thanksgiving thoughts...

For Mike and I, family isn't necessarily our parents or siblings but the people who we have things in common with and are around often who love each other. Don't get me wrong, we love our parents and siblings. It's just that sometimes we get more love and support by our chosen family. For us, that is our small group and a few amazing people that I work with.

They have walked with us in our sorrow, praised God in our joy, and carried our burdens for us. We have had them over for dinner, picked them up when they needed a ride, and emailed them to let them know we are thinking of them. The love is genuine and is centered on our love of the Father.

With Thanksgiving just yesterday, I have been thinking of what I am thankful for. Oh course I am thankful for God and what He is doing in my life and how He is helping me grow. Also, my husband. Sometimes I cannot even begin to explain how grateful I am to have him in my life. He is my rock and always supports me when I need him. I am also thankful for my family. Between Mike and I, we have great parents and siblings who we love very much. And of course, our amazing second family. Those people know who they are. They are truly great people who we love having in our lives.

Also, just an update...we were hoping to hear that the agency has show some birthmom's our letter but we found out that not only is our file STILL not complete but they haven't shown us to anyone. We are so saddened by this. We have been waiting for so long to be parents that it just keeps getting harder. Especially since we are relying on other people to help us get a child. Please be praying for our hearts and that this process happens quickly but always in God's timing.

Nothing new...

Well...I have nothing new to post but I didn't want it going too long without saying anything to my 5 followers!!! Mike and I have just been waiting for that phone to ring telling us that we have a baby waiting for us or a birthmom wanting to meet us. I'm not gonna lie, this part of the process sucks. Absolutely is terrible on our hearts. We are just so anxious to be parents that everytime the phone rings, my heart drops into my stomach. And I know...Kim, be patient, it will happen in God's timing. Trust me, I know this. But sometimes during the waiting it is hard to remember that. Mike gave me a little of his patience so I am hoping that it tides me over for now!

In other news, we bought a crib for the baby and it is put together and sitting in the baby's room (along with all our other crap). Mike had another dad moment when he got to put baby furniture together. Most dad's get to do this when their wife is 7 months pregnant and can't help. But if you know me at all, you will know that not only am I not pregnant but I love to build furniture. But I loved that Mike wanted this to be his project so that he can tell our child one day that his/her daddy built this bed. He is gonna be an amazing father!

We have had a great week too. We went for 2 walks in our little area of Irvine (which has so many shops and just pretty). First we walked like 2 miles to Target and Babies R' Us then the next night we walked about a mile and a half or 2 miles to Albertsons to get a movie from Red Box. It has been so nice because not only are we getting out of the house and into the nice crisp air, but we also are able to just talk and connect. Sometimes when we are at home, we make dinner and watch TV (or build baby furniture!). But there isn't a lot of talking time. That is something we are happy to change. So for the time we are walking, we catch up on our weeks and tell each other where are hearts are at in this adoption process. Then when we get home, we are able to relax and keep chatting because we have so much to say to each other! I love Mike and being with him in this time is great because we were reminded by a friend at our small group that this time we have as just Mike and Kim may end really abruptly so we must appreciate and take advantage of it while we can.

Ok...I promise that I will post more regularly. I am kinda feeling stuck on what to post for this blog. Its not like we haven't moved forward any in the adoption so I don't have a ton to share...any thoughts??

Being an auntie is pretty amazing!

Well as of Friday, November 13, 2009 at 2:38AM, my big sister became a mommy...and I became Auntie Kim. I left early Friday morning to be with her and see this little bundle of joy. Riley Chapman Smith entered into this world and stole all of our hearts. I was so happy to be with my big sister and tell her how proud I am of her. She is already an amazing mom to Riley. I got to hold him and tell him how much I love him already too. I left Saturday night and here I am a few days later and I miss the little guy. I miss just holding him and talking to him. He really is a beautiful baby and we are all so lucky to have him around.

This is my sister Jen, her hubby Ryan, and little Riley wearing his "My Aunt Kimmy Loves Me" onesie! It's amazing how one little boy can steal the hearts of so many people so quickly!

Can't wait till all our friends can be Auntie's and Uncle's to our little bundle!