Update

It's been a while since I posted anything so I think its about time!

Mike has been in Houston for 3 weeks and he is now sitting on the couch next to me playing with our new camera we bought for our hopefully growing family! We are looking forward to just spending time together...and totally dreading Tuesday morning when I have to take him back to the airport for another 3 weeks.

After our meeting with the birthparents a few weeks ago, the birthmom got my cell phone number from the agency and called me to get together. I drove down last friday night and we had a nice dinner together. It was really great getting to know her. But throughout our meeting she seemed VERY confused. She kept saying "If I keep the baby....if i keep the baby..." And giving scenarios of what her life will be like after if she decides to keep it. Didn't exactly make me feel great. I felt weird about the meeting. I talked to Anita (our social worker) and told her what happened and she called the birthmom's social worker and explained it all to her. I think that the birthmom needs someone to talk to and doesn't have many people. But she just didn't realize that I am probably not the best person for that job! So I talked to her social worker last monday and the birthmom has decided that she doesn't want to make a decision about whether to keep the baby or not until after it is born.

So we are back to square one. But we both agree that we are kinda in a good situation...on one hand, she may still give us her baby in a matter of weeks. On the other, now that we aren't in a match process with anyone, we are able to be shown to other birthparents. We are disappointed about everything but feel like God is still in control of everything. I have learned that I tend to find my security in the times when I am able to control a situation. But I am working on putting my control aside and let God lead me in life. That my security comes from Him, the one who is able to do far greater than I can even imagine. Mike and i are so grateful to have a God who we can rely on 100%. Who leads us and allows us to grow closer to Him everyday.

And lastly, Mike and I have decided that since we may still be adopting soon, I have put in my notice at Biola and my last day is June 25th. This is a HUGE leap of faith for us. We feel at peace with this decision and know that God has given us that peace for a reason and we are definitely resting in that.

Well, I am off to spend time with my hubby! Thanks for being a part of this crazy journey with us...we love seeing God work in us and to share it with others just makes it so much more meaningful!

Match Meeting

Thank you so much for your prayers and words of encouragement to Mike and I in this adoption process. You have no idea how much you all mean to us.

Well, we had our meeting with the birthparents Wednesday morning. It was very surreal to be meeting the people who may give us their child but overall we felt good about the meeting. It was so great getting to know them and hear their story. They are very nice; she is kinda shy but he is very talkative...which is probably why we met for over 2 1/2 hours!! After the awkward introduction time, we started to talk and definitely felt more comfortable with them. We talked not only about the adoption but even talked about history and beer!!! So it was great and we are definitely glad it is over.

The birthparents did not make a final decision as to whether they are going to give us their baby. They need some time, which Mike and I fully support. We want them to feel 100% comfortable about this decision. We feel that if they choose us, we will have a good relationship with them in the future which is what we have been praying for!

Please be praying for the birthmother as we could see that this is a difficult decision for her. She knows that she is making the best decision for this child but it is still hard on her. Pray for peace for whatever decision she makes.

We are so glad to see God at work in this situation and are trusting that He knows what He is doing. The verse that I have been really thinking of it Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will makes your path straight." That is what I am really holding onto this week!

Looking foward to giving an update once we hear more!

Pre-meeting emotions

We will be meeting with the birthparents in less than 24 hours. Wow. I have been sleeping poorly the last few nights because my mind has been racing....what kind of questions will they ask us, will they like us, how much should we share about this or that? That and a million other questions are making me crazy! Then I start to think of how I might answer those questions. Which I really have no idea how I will answer them.

So how am I feeling right now? I'm so nervous and anxious for this meeting. I feel like my stomach is twisted and turned a million times. I think that the anticipation of this meeting is really fueling this nerves. I mean, we have been waiting to have a baby for over 2 years and waiting to be matched for 8 months now. So now, we are here and now it is real.

Yet, through all the nerves, I am excited somehow. I cannot wait to meet this amazing couple. They are willing to do something so wonderful for us and that baby. Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow could be the day that we find out if we are going to be a mom and dad. We could know if we are having a boy or a girl and with that we will know what name we will give to our child. Tomorrow could be the beginning of our story. A story that we are able to praise God for everyday!!!

If you think of Mike and I tomorrow, please be praying for us. Be praying for our story---that God be writing it as he sees fit. That He may write this couple's story as well. And if ours connect somehow, that God would be in control of that. And also, please pray for rest. I know the birthmom is nervous about tomorrow just as we are. Pray that we can sleep and be refreshed and ready for our meeting.

I look forward to sharing news, no matter the outcome tomorrow. God is in control and it is that knowledge that gives us a peace as we enter into this part of our lives.