Emsley's First Christmas

It's weird to think that it has been over a year since we knew about our little girl. On Dec. 15th of 2010, we met with Miss Amy and it was the first time we were that close to our baby. Then on Dec. 21st, we found out that we were chosen to be the parents of a sweet baby. And here we are just over 1 year later and we celebrated the day with our sweet pea. It was a great day full of precious memories. We have such a desire to make Christmas more than about gifts but about praising God for sending his son to be born into our world. So our morning started with a prayer from daddy thanking God for blessing us with Jesus and then we sang "Joy to the World" because today is a day we are especially joyful for the birth of our Savior. And even though we want Emsley to be joyful in this great news everyday, we want to be very intentional about this day especially. So the gifts waited while we focused of Jesus for a bit. It was a beautiful start to wonderful family tradition.

This week a friend did a post on our adoption groups blog about how thankful we should also be toward Joseph. So often he can get forgotten in this birth story but in truth he played such an important role. Joseph, after finding out Mary would be pregnant as a virgin, CHOSE to adopt Jesus as his own and love and raise him. He was the one who gave us an earthly example of adoption. Today as I was holding my own adopted child, I looked at her and told her that Jesus was adopted just like her. And I hope that it is that fact that she shares with joy and pride each Christmastime to her friends and family! I want her to know that Jesus loves her, loves adoption, and that He desires for her to share this amazing news with others.

I'm not sure what next Christmas will look like. But I know that this Christmas will hold a special place in my heart because of where God has brought us over the last few years. He has given us a daughter to raise to be a child of His and we do so willingly, lovingly, and with complete joy in our hearts. We are so grateful for the birth of our Savior and for getting to share this with our child.

We hope that this Christmas is a time that we all can be joyful in this amazing story!

8 months old

Seriously...has it really been 8 months already! Our little girl is just growing up and learning so much everyday. We absolutely love watching her learn and be a little more independent. And this month is also a big month for us...since it's Emsley's first Christmas! We are so excited to have this little blessing. We are really trying to already be very intentional with what she learns about Christmas. Gifts will not be the biggest part of the day but knowing that we celebrate Jesus being born and coming to this world to save us will be key. Anyways...this month Emsley has eaten real food. She first had pasta and then crackers, puffs, and some freeze dried fruit. She is such a great eater, sleeper, and is as sweet as can be!

Here are some stats as she turns 8 months:

-Weighs approximately 24 pounds (appt next month)
-Is approximately 28 or 29 inches now
-Wears size 4 diapers
-We just transitioned her to 12 and 18 month clothes
-Eats 5 bottles a day still
-Also eats breakfast, lunch, and dinner (fruits, yellow and green veggies, meat, & rice)
-Sleeping through the night but teething wakes her up and she wimpers a little (sad!)
-Seriously...this girl loves her baths!
-Wants to crawl but I think she will just get up and walk soon
-Is trying to pull up on everything and loves to just stand
-She makes friends everywhere we go because she is cute and friendly...I love it!
-She now has her 2 bottom teeth (they are so cute) and I'm sure she will have more soon!
-Loves to wave at people and claps all the time (especially when she is excited)
-Says mama, gaga, and papa. We hope she says dada very soon...we are working on it!

Love this little girl and we love how absolutely intelligent she is. She loves to observe her world and we love to observe her doing it! Family time is our favorite and we love just playing and talking together. There is nothing to complain about...with each stage and new thing she does, we love it. Being a parent is something we don't take for granted. God blessed us and we will never stop thanking him for her!

Happy Thanksgiving!

You might be asking, Kim, what are you thankful for this year? And if you do, you obviously don't read my blog!!! We have so much to be thankful for this year. I wish we celebrated Thanksgiving more because seriously, we should be always showing this much gratitude. God is so good and I am so thankful to be His child. Today I have much to be thankful for....

A great God who loves me no matter what. He has adopted me, a ridiculous sinner, and loves me as His own. He has led me through my life on paths which I never wanted to be on but now look back on with joy. He brought people into my life who would minister to my soul and has shown me what true, unconditional love looks like. I don't deserve to call him Father but He allows me to, and even longs to hear me call out for Him.

My husband. Sometimes I can't even begin to express how grateful I am for Mike. After 8 years together we still really like to be with each other and have fun. We have had a rough few years but have been blessed to have a marriage strengthened through it all. He is so hard working and provides for our family in ways I don't even understand (and that totally stress me out!) Watching him lead our family is a joy and privilege that I am glad no one else gets to see! I'm so blessed to be his wife and friend. God is so good to us!

Our daughter Emsley is the richest most beautiful blessing we have had this year (or in many years). She came to us when we thought we might not be parents after all. But not she is here and has made our lives complete. I am so thankful for all her laughs, smiles, messy diapers, but especially the joy she brings to our home. She is so amazing.

Family is always something we are thankful for. Our parents raised us, loved us, and then allowed us to grow into the adults we are. Our siblings challenged us, played with us, and became then became our friends. I'm so thankful for family's who love us and now love Emsley so much.

We probably have the most amazing small group and church ever. We have grown in our faith so much that it is amazing to think back just a few years ago. They have all walked though some tough times with us and been there to have the faith and hope we were lacking. They too love Emsley and have embraced her and her adoption story as a part of their lives.

Lastly, we are thankful for Miss Amy and for adoption. I know that Emsley is ours and I don't see her as anything but that, but I know that she has a greater story than just being our child. She was loved so much by Miss Amy that she made an adoption plan for her so she could come home to us. Her birthmom is so loving and selfless and has become someone so dear to our hearts and we love knowing she will be in our lives for a very long time. We are so thankful for her and what she did for us.

So yes, I have SOOOO much to be thankful for. This year has been so much fun looking back on everything God has given us. But now we look forward to see how this next year will look and how He will continue to grow, bless, and challenge us.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Thankful Tree

Some good friends of ours posted pictures on their family blog about a Thankful Tree. Their kids are a 5 and 6 so the idea is received to their girls WAY more than Emsley but we wanted to start the tradition sooner rather than later. We want Emsley to know that Thanksgiving isn't just about going to someone's house and eating turkey and pumpkin pie, or about pilgrims and indians but that it is really about remembering the blessings God has given us in the last year. Although we should be thankful everyday, this is a special time of year to do that. This year...we have so much to be thankful for. So here is a couple of pictures of our very own thankful tree.

It has been such a fun and special reminder of all God has given and blessed us with. This year, being parents pretty much tops our hearts but God has given us great family and friends, an amazing church, a loving marriage, and even rainy days like today. I'm so glad for our friends who, without even realizing it, helped us start a wonderful tradition for our family. One where it's about being thankful...not just full! =)

7 months old

Today our little Emsley is 7 months old. Every month just gets better and better. We fall more in love with her, with each other, and more in love with God who has blessed us with Emsley as our daughter. This month her personality is blossoming. She is babbling like crazy and just loves to stand, not sit or crawl. I think she is just gonna decide to stand up one day and walk around the house. And all I know is she will be the cutest little walker ever. Many say that life will get crazy once she walks and give me a "just wait" but honestly, we can't wait. We love this little girl and each step she takes is amazing and we sometimes we can't believe we finally have a daughter!

Here are some stats as she turns 7 months:

-Weighs approximately 23 lbs (no Dr's appt for a couple more months)
-Is approximately 28 inches now
-Is in size 3 diapers still but we will be moving to size 4 next time we buy diapers
-Wears 9 month clothes but we are going to buy her 12 month very, very soon (this girl is tall!)
-Eats 3 meals a day of baby food and loves everything!
-Still has 5 small bottles a day of formula
-Sleeping is the same, through the night!
-Bathtime just keeps getting better. She now LOVES to splash and it is a joy to watch
-Like I said, she loves to stand but is good just sitting and playing with toys, for a bit!
-Isn't a fan of tummy time, she will crawl when she is ready
-Loves to drink juice and water from her sippy cup (her favorite is white grape juice)
-Is the friendliest (& cutest) baby ever
-We are pretty sure she is gonna cut a tooth in the next couple weeks (we see white on her gums)
***Update: Emsley cut her first tooth on Saturday, November 19th
-Just this last weekend she learned to wave and it is the cutest thing ever
-Said mama and now says it constantly...we are pretty sure she knows its me when she says it!

All in all, we are loving being parents and have no complaints...then again, it's hard to complain when God has blessed us so much that joy is constantly flowing in our hearts!

Sentimental Sap

So tomorrow we are moving. We are leaving our home in Irvine and moving to a new place in Fullerton. Normally moves are exciting to me...I love the idea of reorganizing into a new place, decorating, and being in a new city. But this move is so hard. It might be because the new place is a significant downgrade from our current place in Irvine or because this home has such amazing and blessed memories of our family. This home is where we signed the check for our adoption application, we were here when we got the call that Amy decided us to parent Emsley, and it was here that we brought our long awaited daughter home and have watched her grow into this amazing little girl for the last 6 months. But regardless of what the reason, I just can't seem to stop crying.

Our new place is nice...great and quiet neighborhood. Fireplace, new kitchen and bathroom, a nice big patio, close to all our friends and closer to family, and we will be able to actually save money. We are a month or 2 away from being debt free and then the task of saving for buying our first home will actually happen. I've never been big into the idea that we have to buy a home. I have loved apartment living...someone else fixes stuff and even pays some of the utilities! But I think it has been since Emsley was born that I have a strong desire to make roots. To be able to look back years down the road and have beautiful memories that don't have to go away if rent is too high or if we need something else. I want to be the sentimental sap that I have totally become and do it freely in the comforts of my own home. I know that this next place is going to help us accomplish that and we will have some memories made there to cherish but long for that stability and groundedness.

But truthfully, I am trying to be grateful for having a home and even more, to have another one to be moving to. We are able to make rent every month and eat and go out. I know we are blessed. I'm trying to remember that our lives could be so much harder but God has blessed us. And lastly, I want to always have the perspective that any home here on earth is not really my home...my home is with my Savior in Heaven...not that is being grounded and on a firm foundation to boot!

6 months old

It is a little hard to believe that our little girl is half a year old today! 6 months have passed since she was born and our world was forever changed. We have been having so much fun with Emsley. She is sitting up and able to play with herself on the floor now. She started eating solid foods last month and now loves to eat like a big girl. The poor thing is definitely teething now and it is so hard to see her in pain but we think she is taking it like a champ. We can't wait to see how much cuter she looks with her little teeth. But for now we are enjoying her being exactly this stage! I think this past month has been our most favorite month...she is so fun and we just love Emsley!

Here are some stats as she turns 6 months:

-Weighs 21.2 pounds and is in the 99th percentile
-Is about 27 1/2 inches tall and is in the 95th percentile
-Is in size 3 diapers...for now
-Wears 9 month clothes...but some of her 12 month pants fit great...she is tall!
-Eats solids in the morning and evening, favorites are sweet potatoes and squash
-Takes 5 bottles a day but much less amount per day than before
-Goes to sleep about 11 hours a night...bed by 7:30 or 7:45 and up at like 6:30 or 7am
-She now has a big girl bathtub...an inflatable ducky that is her own little pool...too cute!
-Sits up constantly and will just play well
-Although she can't crawl forward, she will move in a circle while on her tummy...almost there!
-Drinks water from a sippy cup
-Smiles at everything and everyone but mommy and daddy know how to make to laugh the most!
-Absolutely loveable!

Seriously, I can't say enough about how much we love Emsley! Happy 6 months to our little girl!

God's Greater Plan

What does it mean to just sit and listen to God? In my life, I rarely take the time to just listen to God...to hear him as he leads us in our life. I mean, he desires to give us a life that will grow us to be in a better and deeper relationship with Him. But sometimes, I think that I know better about what God has planned for our life. I don't want to sit around and let Him open doors and lead us. It is so much easier to just discover opportunities for us instead. And lately, this is a part of me that I have decided to let go of and leave my own desires and opinions to God. To put these thoughts at His feet and surrender to Him.

Seriously, this isn't easy. I mean, if you want to look for a new job, isn't it easier to just go online and look for other companies hiring? But in truth, Mike and I desire to be a couple that allows Him to lead us to a job or ministry, or maybe even another child. It may not be easy but this is definitely the way that God planned it. Jeremiah 29:11 has always been a favorite verse of mine. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord..." Right there He says that HE is the one that creates and provides all the plans for our lives. It may not be easy but it is exactly what He desires of us.

This past week I was having my quiet time and landed in James. It was kinda cool about how I landed on James 1:19-27. I had this feeling that I wanted to read about listening to God and caring about what He cares about and about what He desires for my heart to be desiring. So I landed on James and read about obeying God's word. God has a few things that weigh very heavily on his heart that He makes extremely clear in His word. James 1:27 says that "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." There we have it...we are to to care for orphans and widows and to stay true to God and to not be transformed by this sinful world we live in (Romans 12:2).
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So how have we been applying this our lives? Well, we have a crazy passion for orphans...God has given us an undeniable desire to not only care for those who don't have a mommy and daddy to kiss them goodnight but also to educate others about this growing worldwide problem. But this is the crazy thing...we have absolutely no idea as to how to accomplish this so we will sit and wait for God to lead us...to show us his greater plan for our lives. It may be to start locally but in truth, God may be leading us to where He feels there is a need. So we sit and wait for He guidance and in the mean time, I will rest in knowing that He already knows where our lives will go and to what purpose we will have. We sit and pray that God will use us....this is scary to say, "yes, Lord we are here, use us" but this is what God has put on our hearts and I joyfully wait for the direction He gives us.

5 months old

Seriously...isn't she the cutest thing you have ever seen! I might be biased but our little girl just steals my heart with her sweet toothless grin and those beautiful blue eyes. Her personality is really starting to come out and we are watching her become a little girl more and more everyday. Love her bundles!

Here are some stats as she turns 5 months:

-Weighs approximately 19 or 20 pounds (no Dr's apt till next month)
-Is about 26 or 27 inches tall
-Is in size 3 diapers
-Wears 6 month clothes (for now---9 month clothes are washed and almost ready to be worn!)
-Still takes 5 bottles a day but just started rice cereal yesterday and did great!
-Rice cereal is given at breakfast & dinner time (trying to get her ready for regular mealime)
-Sleeps about 10-11 hours a night (from about 7:45 or 8pm till about 6:45 or 7am)
-Seriously loves bathtime...has become our favorite time too!
-Is sitting up (somewhat supported) and is doing great at it
-She loves grabbing pretty much anything that is in her general vicinity
-Loves to drink water out of our cups (she has her own sippy cup but prefers ours!)
-Smiles and laughs ALL the time
-Starting to be ticklish now...especially her neck when we dry her after bathtime

So happy that she is a happy loveable little girl! I mean, can I say how blessed we are more than I already do?!?! Can't wait to see what this month holds!

Outcome of yesterday

I think its funny how hyped up we made our visit from Eva, our state appointed Social Worker. I mean, we cleaned our house top to bottom (which I am happy to be still enjoying!) and we bought some general child safety things for the house and we moved things that might be seen as unsafe in the house (our cleaning supplies are now safely stored in our laundry room on the patio!) But the minute Eva walked in our door, 10 minutes late, I could just tell it was going to be a low key meeting. She sat down and went over some general info and went over what the next steps are in the process (I will go over in a second). And then asked about Emsley and her health and growth. But luckily we have the world's happiest and cutest baby so Emsley was more than willing to show Miss Eva how happy she was being our daughter!

Then Eva walked around the house and scanned each room...no real questions about the safety of our home so it was super easy. I mean, I am always grateful for a reason to have a clean house but feel a little silly about how crazy we got about it. I mean, all we wanted was to show her that we are not a crazy sloppy family who doesn't take care of our child's home environment. Its funny how much we want to impress this woman but in the end, by just being ourselves and showing her how much we love that little girl, we showed her everything she needed to know about us and our parenting abilities. Next time we meet, I will probably still crazy clean the house but my attitude about the meeting will be different. I won't just clean to impress but because its a nice excuse to clean the house and make someone feel at home in our home.

So what is next??? So we have to meet with Eva every 3 months. Our next meeting will probably be another home visit because we will most likely be moving soon so she will need to check out our new home again. After the next meeting, because Emsley will be over 6 months old, it will likely be one of our last because Eva can start to write our report. The report hopefully won't take that long but Eva mentioned that she has a lot of cases so I'm thinking it will take her a few months to complete this. Once the report is completed, we can then petition the court for a court date. Well, by we I mean our lawyer! Then the court date could be anywhere from 1 month to 6 months later (depending on availability).

So I guess we are looking at a court date sometime early next summer. I know that seems far off but for us, that is wonderful! I mean, one year ago we were waiting to be matched and our little girl was a mere 10 week fetus. Now she is a beautiful almost 5 month old little girl who we love to pieces. I think we can be patient for another 9 or 10 months!

Step 1 to finalization

After another round of paperwork and hoops to jump through, we are finally starting the adoption finalization process. We are so excited because it means that Emsley will be officially ours soon. In our hearts, she has been ours for a long time but to the state and any else who might care, she is our baby girl. So here we are, step one. We are going to be meeting with the state appointed Social Worker, Eva, Thursday, Sept 8th at 10 a.m. Not sure what this time with her will look like but we are going to be working on baby proofing our home this weekend. We know that the state requires you to have your home COMPLETELY ready for a baby...whether they can crawl or not.

At this point, I am really eager to get this step done because I know it can be a long time till we actually get a court date for the finalization hearing. One thing at the time though and we are just so grateful to be moving forward. I look back on this blog and think back to when we said the same thing about the adoption process...that we just can't wait to finish our paperwork and homestudy so we can be shown to birthmoms to start the next step. Weird that is has been just over 2 years now since we started on this adoption journey and now have a beautiful daughter in our family who has changed our world forever! Well, I hope to update after our meeting next week to explain what goes on.

Here's to starting a new and exciting phase in this time!

4 months old

Can't believe how long its been since I posted about anything...especially about our wonderful little girl! She is changing daily and we are loving watching her experience so many things for the first time. This past month we have been able to go to the aquarium and watch her fascination with the fish...her favorite were the jellyfish. Emsley also started going to the nursery during church and has done great. The ladies have said she is a snuggler! She is so good with other people...which we are so happy about! Another HUGE milestone was that she finally figured out how to roll over! She started trying a couple weeks ago but always got stuck with her arms under her. But just a week ago, she got it and boy is it fun to watch. It takes her about 4 seconds to turn over...she has totally got it now! We recently got her a jumper and she loves that too. Definitely gonna have an early walker (and probably talker too!) Like I say every month, this little girl is such a blessing to us and Mike and I could not be more in love with her. Being her parents is such a joy and priviledge.

Here are some stats as she turns 4 months:

-Weighs 18 1/2 lbs and is in the 100th percentile!!!
-Is 25 3/4 inches tall and is in the 95th percentile!
-Is in size 2 diapers
-She primarily wears 6 month clothes, but some of her 3 month stuff still fits her (shockingly!)
-East 5 times a day with about 6 oz each (but will probably start rice cereal soon)
-Sleeps about 11 hours a night. Bed by 8 and wakes at 7am.
-Bathtime is a favorite. She has a bath book that she likes...to eat!
-Smiles and laughs are pretty common around here!
-Every day we sit in front of her mirror and she will smile at me and herself
-Stands often (with our help of course!)
-Grabs objects (including faces and mommy's hair) really well
-Follows things with her eyes with complete ease
-Loves music...we have a Disney soundtrack for and that seems to be the best
-Isn't really into books, unless they taste good!!

We already have some amazing memories with her and can't wait to make even more as she grows and continues to learn and take in this big world she is experiencing!

3 months old

Today our little girl is 3 months old. It was an extra special day for us because today we also celebrated Mike's 31st birthday. I just see such a beautiful little girl and how she is growing and learning everyday. Being able to stay home with her is an absolute blessing that I will never take for granted. Emsley is so talkative and very strong. She definitely babbles all the time and usually does it while standing up (she is holding our fingers obviously!). Dare we say that she might be a walker and talker before we know it. I truly think she will just get more fun as she grows and is even more interactive.

Here are some stats as she turns 3 months:

-Weighs about 15 or 16 pounds (her next appt is next month)
-Is about 24 or 25 inches
-Is in size 2 diapers now
-We are in transition to her 6 month clothes now (but her 3 month still fit!)
-Eats 6 oz every 3 hours, 5 times a day
-Sleeps about 11 hours a night (bed by 8 or 8:30, up at 7 or so)
-Still loves bathtime...always calms her down and is now starting to splash around
-Smiles at a wall hanging we have, named Wally, all the time (cutest thing ever!)
-Stands up easily while she is only holding our fingers
-Learning new noises, like mmmm and gah
-Very good at grabbing objects in front of her
-Following things well with her eyes
-Starting to play with a few of her toys (had these rings that she likes a lot)
-Looks for us when we walk away or will turn her head when she hears either of us talking
-Knows when we aren't there and will get a little fussy till we come back
-Enjoys music and for us to read to her (we get a bunch of books from the library)

Another month with our little girl! We love her so much and absolutely love being her parents. Look forward to seeing what amazing things she learns this coming month!

I love adoption.

I feel like the title could be the whole post...but I guess I should explain. Obviously, adoption has absolutely forever changed our family in such amazing ways, but there is so much more that I love about adoption. It is only in an adoption situation that you completely let God choose your child. How great is that...that the Father who knows exactly what we need and will have, chose the little girl that would be joining our family forever?!?! I didn't choose anything about her or her situation but God did. Kinda like how God adopts us...he doesn't choose us because we are perfect. He chose us because He loves us and wants us to be a part of His family and spend eternity with Him.

Adoption is amazing because I love how I can't really compare Emsley to myself or Mike. I know that people have said she kinda looks like us or whatever but when it all comes down to it, she doesn't. When we first started the adoption process, I thought I would be sad to look at my child and not "see" myself or Mike in him/her. But I realized something this week. I may know that she doesn't get her chin or smile from me, but she ultimately gets it from God. Again, I am seeing how everything in adoption (and really should in life!) comes back to our Lord. She has the smile he gave her, the beautiful, full lips are a product of the Lord's mighty work. Most parents love comparing themselves to their kids but I love that we only can compare them with how great God is giving her those qualities.

Lastly, I love adoption because it gives me an appreciation for Emsley that I would not have had if we had a biological child. I love watching her grow and with each cry or fussy day, I learn more about her, about myself as a parent, and again (not to be too repetitive) more about God. Mike and I have a desire to not complain about being parents or about our daughter at all. We don't want to take for granted or be ungrateful that we have this absolutely beautiful gift from God in our lives. That is why we named her Emsley...our little reminder of where she really came from and to whom we give praise to daily for!

So......I love adoption! It isn't just about becoming a parent, but allowing God to write your story in a way that really only he can. It is by his hand that our lives are formed and fitted together and adoption reveals that to me more ways that I can express!

His 1st Father's Day

It was last year that we got the text saying that the birthmom we were matched with was keeping the baby. I mean, we never thought that this birthmom was going to actually go through with the adoption but it still hurt. I remember feeling so broken for Mike. It was supposed to be a day where we could celebrate his soon to be fatherhood-ness. But instead we spent it realizing how our family was still missing our child.

Little did we know that what the next Father's Day would hold! This year Mike had his girls by his side and I got to spoil him with love and attention. We went to BJ's so that Mike could get his Father's Day cup from there (finally!). I got him a few little gifts that I thought he would like and Emsley made him a coffee mug with a bunch of pictures of her, the 2 of them, and a couple of the 3 of us too. I know that she really doesn't even interact much yet, but that just makes me look forward to the next Father's Day where she will be able to stand up and wrap her arms around her daddy and hopefully say I love you to him.

I think I have to have a little brag time now about Mike as a dad. Mike is the most amazing father...Emsley just adores him and I even think she looks over at the door when he comes home at night. She loves him almost as much as he loves her. Mike is affectionate with her, caring, gentle, and so playful that she is constantly happy. You know how wives always tell their husbands that they didn't think they could love their spouse more until they had kids??? I never truly understood what they meant until Emsley came into our family. Watching him love her and how they interact together as daddy and daughter makes me see him in such a different light. I love this man with all of my heart and it truly deepens with each day...each book read...each toe kissed!

I am so grateful for being married to Mike and now I am even more blessed to be parenting alongside him as we raise Emsley together. Father's Day has pretty much become one of my favorite days...because it gives me one more reason to shower Mike with love.

Cherished...

Last week Mike and I were on our way down to the San Diego Fair with Emsley to see our favorite band, Switchfoot, perform. While on the drive, I asked him if he thought he could love our daughter as much as he does and his response is absolutely beautiful. He said that he does love her so much but more than that, he cherished Emsley. I love that...that our love for her isn't just the typical "I love you" but it is deeper. It might be because she is such an absolute blessing to us. Cherish means to "hold dear"...I mean, we absolutely feel that way about her. Emsley didn't come to our family in the typical manner. After desiring to have a family for 3 years, we finally have her in our lives and could not be more grateful.

Sometimes I can't even remember what life was like before Emsley. As cliche as it sounds, she kinda completes our family. It's as if our family was missing a puzzle piece and we have been looking for it for years and finally the puzzle is complete. We no longer feel incomplete. This is why we cherish her. Now don't get me wrong, I know that all parents probably feel this way about their children but I kinda think that adoption makes loving your children unique and more deep. Maybe that is why God's love for us is more deep and unique...because we were adopted by Him and He feels so lucky and blessed to have us in His family. Because we were someone He desired to have in His family for a long time and finally when we do, His heart feels overjoyed and complete.

I have such a greater understanding of what our adoption means and how joyful it makes God to be our Father. Mike and I cherish our little girl and know that our family is now whole with her in it!!!

2 months old

Emsley is 2 months old today. She has been so much fun lately and we love seeing her cute personality come out more every day. She smiles at us all the time and I think she is just about to laugh. She is always "talking" to us and enjoys just looking around. She is so curious about her surroundings and definitely follows things with her eyes more now. I love getting to stay home every day with her and play, talk, read, and just be with her. She is absolutely a great baby and we both feel so blessed to call her ours.

Here are some stats as she turns 2 months:

-Weighs 14 lbs 3 oz and is in the 99th percentile
-Is 23 3/4 inches tall and is in the 97th percentile
-Is in size 1 diapers but can probably move into size 2 soon
-Wears 3 month clothes but they are getting a little short on her!
-Eats 4-6 oz every 3 hours during the day
-Sleeps pretty much through the night (bed by 9 and wakes by 5:30 or 6)
-Smiles everytime she gets her diaper changed
-Bath time is her favorite!
-Legs and neck are very strong now
-Is starting to grasp the things in her playmat...still working on the hand-eye coordination
-Follows us with her eyes when we walk around
-Had her first babysitters...she did great!!!
-Likes to babble and have conversations with us
-Makes more and more different noises everyday
-Loves being read to...might have to get her her own library card soon!

I can't say how much we love Emsley enough. She is such a joy and we love being her parents. I love watching Mike be her daddy...she just gets so happy when she sees him after work. I love watching that relationship already blossom. Looking forward to more amazing milestones with our precious daughter in the upcoming month!

God's greater plan

I remember writing this post (click here) and thinking that it would just be so much easier if God allowed us to get pregnant. At the time, I think it is still what I wanted. I was reflecting on that time this week and thinking that if God had just let me have my way, I would not be Emsley's mommy. That this little girl who I love with all my heart would not be my daughter. Sometimes we have to surrender our plans that we think are perfect to allow God to continue His work in our lives. I embraced my infertility and it was because of that, I now call myself mom to one of the cutest babies ever.

When we found out we were having a girl and really started to think about names, it was so important to us that her name be a reflection of the work God has done in our lives and the way He orchestrated this adoption. When we saw the name Emsley in a baby name book, we fell in love with its meaning. "A gift from above"...her name would always serve as a reminder of God's greater plan. The plan to bring our daughter Emsley into our lives through adoption. And ultimately, this shows us how much God loves us because He too adopted us into His family. I understand and appreciate this more than I ever could before. We are so happy with how God worked out our lives. I'm happy to have endured through infertility because of the beautiful place that Christ has brought us to.

My First Mother's Day

I have been meaning to post about what Mike and Emsley did for my very first Mother's Day. This day meant so much to me...I have had so many Mother's Days dreaming about what it will be like to be a mom. But Mike, being the amazing husband he is, made me feel like so special. We went to church and they asked any new moms of a month or less to stand up...I was the only one. Then the woman who had been a mom the longest stood up and it was something cool to thing that one day I will be there. When Emsley is older and I have parented her with as much ability as God has given me, I will be there. Then we went home to feed Emmy and then went to lunch at Johnny Rocket's at the Block in Orange. Emsley was a little fussy but let us enjoy our meals and reminiscing over past years as we waited for God to bless us with a child. Then Mike handed me a card that said "To my mommy" on the envelope. "Emsley" got me a card and wrote some sweet things about how much she loves me and is glad that I am her mommy. Then "she" got me a frame that says I heart mom and Mike printed pics to put a picture of her and me in it.

Then Mike got me a card and it brought me to tears. We have been through so much together over the years and he told me that he loves me more each day as he sees me being a mother to Emsley. That man...my goodness he is wonderful. Then he hands me a bag and before I open it, he says that he was going to get me a cliche gift of jewelry or something but wanted to get me something a little more special. He got me the perfume I have been wanting forever (Stella McCartney Nude)...and said that he wants Emsley to have a scent to recognize me by. So sweet and thoughtful...again, brought me to tears.

It was by far the best day ever. I felt so loved and cherished by the two people who mean the most to me in the world. Mike is an amazing husband and he and Emsley made me feel so special. I cannot wait till Father's Day to show Mike how much he is totally, completely, and unconditionally loved by his girls!

1 month old

Today Emsley is one month old. I would love to tell you that the time flew by and that I'm sad that my little girl is growing so fast but truthfully...I'm not. The time didn't fly, it actually felt a little slow up to this point (I mean, not a bad slow just a nice pace!) and I love watching her grow. I even look forward to the steps she will take...sleeping through the night, holding her head up regularly, staying awake more during the day, cooing. I don't want Emsley to stay a newborn...I long to watch her grow into a beautiful little girl and see her story unfold.

Here are some stats on Emsley as she turns 1 month:

--Still in newborn size diapers (but not for long!)
--Wears either 0-3 month or 3 month clothes now
--Eats about 4-5 oz every 3-4 hours during the day
--Eats about 4-5 oz every 4-4.5 hours during the night
--Makes the cutest pouty lips face ever (she will be hard for us to say no to!)
--Her tears finally started coming a few days ago
--Her eyebrows are darkening (I know it may seem silly to mention but whatever!)
--Grabs mommy's hair every chance she can get
--Will hear her daddy and me when someone else is holding her and look for us
--Makes the best sleeping noises, like grunts
--Loves to be held close to our chests and be patted continually
--Enjoys her chairs that vibrate, bounce, or swing
--Hates being naked but loves bath time when she can just sit and relax in the tub
--Sleeps SOOO good in the car

But most of all, the best thing she has done is stolen the hearts of so many people. Her life is already so rich with family and friends...she is so lucky.

Also, here is a link to the blog post (click here) from our adoption coordinator on how she met Amy and her view of our special relationship. We love Miss Amy!

Well, we love Emsley so much and can't wait to see what this month holds for us!

Emsley's 2 week check up

Today we went for her 2 week check up (well its actually 3 weeks!) today with Dr. Huckaby and everything went WONDERFULLY! Here are her stats:

Weight: 10 lbs (our little chunker!) and in the 95th percentile
Height: 21 1/2 and in the 90th percentile

She is also starting to stare at her daddy and I and listens for our voices. She is sooo close to holding up her own head and her legs are really starting to get stronger. She will push herself up now while we hold her. I also would like to think she is about ready to sleep longer at night and the Dr agrees. Because she is properly gaining and growing she is pretty stinkin' close!

Dr. H said she is doing great and we don't go in until her 2 month check up. Then she gets shots...boo!

I will be posting a picture of Emsley soon because she is getting so big...so quick!!! Love it!

Just some pics...

Our little girl is getting so big already so I thought I would post some pics of her from the last couple weeks. She is such a great baby and I'm looking to celebrating my first Mother's Day with her and Mike tomorrow.

She's so cute it hurts!

Our friend Christina said this when she came over to visit Emsley! And boy is it true. Our little girl gets cuter every day and we fall more in love with her. We have had so many visitors and been absolutely loved on. We now know what her cues are for wanting to eat, going poo, and when she wants to be held. She has already started eating 1 more ounce of formula...our girl is growing so much. She has fuller cheeks and even stays awake without being fussy so we enjoy her beautiful eyes more.

I thought it was about time to share her birth story...

On Saturday the 16th, Amy called me at like 11:45 pm and let me know that she was headed to the hospital because she was having signs of preeclampsia (headache, blurry vision, and high blood pressure). After texting through the night and letting us know she was waiting most the night, we got a text from her at like 7 in the morning saying that they decided to admit her to the hospital and they were going to induce her. We got ready (didn't even feel rushed!) and headed to Loma Linda to watch our daughter be born.

We were at the hospital in her room for over 12 hours before the baby was born. During that time, we just hung out with her, played cards, talked, shared funny stories. All the while, Amy was having pretty regular contractions but didn't even feel them. She is the toughest woman I have ever known. It wasn't until about 6pm that she started hard labor. She was feeling the contractions and was definitely feeling this little girl moving into position. She got her epidural and her water finally broke and then the pushing started. Mike and I were able to be in the room for the birth. Mike took a place in the room that where he couldn't really see much but I got the full view. At around 11 pm, the doctors realized that the baby was sunny side up and was having a hard time coming down the canal and with each push, her heart rate was dropping. They decided that they would need to suction her out so that she didn't have any complications. Once they brought the whole team in, they let Amy do one more big push and it was at 11:59 pm that Emsley Breanne made her grand entrance into the world! They looked at the group of us with Amy and asked who would cut the cord...Amy looked at me and told me to go for it. It was such a beautiful experience getting to not only be there as my daughter was born but to also be such an important part of it as well.

They wisked Emsley over so the NICU team could look at her...her color wasn't great and was a little floppy but within a couple minutes she perked up and gave her a bath. That night feels like a blur but yet I cannot forgot the emotions and events that transpired. We took Emsley to the nursery and finally got to our own room to rest at 4:30am. It was a rough night, Emsley probably had a headache...birth is an absolutely traumatizing time for a baby. People always assume that it is hard for the mother but I saw it all from a different perspective this time. I had an emotional morning (I will write about my experience with adoption post partum another time).

On the 18th we were able to visit Amy and just hang out. She held her daughter and we just hung out. Like friends, which is exactly how I would describe our relationship with this amazing woman. After a great time with her and her mom that afternoon, we took a nap with little Emsley and came back later. We left the baby with Amy and our adoption coordinator Michelle and grabbed everyone Claim Jumper (Amy's request!) and brought it back to enjoy together. It was a celebration dinner. We gave Amy the gifts we got her...a recipe book for her culinary aspirations, some bath goodies for relaxing, and an engraved jewelry box with a bracelet. The bracelet had a heart pendant that we engraved Emsley Breanne on one side and "a gift from above" on the other (that is what Emsley means). Amy cried and hopefully she got a tiny glimpse of how much we love and appreciate her for what a gift she gave to us. Amy went around the room and shared how she was feeling and how God just has given her such a sense of peace and led her to this decision. It was AMAZING!

We left the next morning and let Amy hold her one more time and we all left the hospital together. It was so hard to leave Amy...I told her we are not saying goodbye but merely saying see you later (which now seems cliche but oh well!) We miss her often and love that. It means that God worked something absolutely beautiful in this relationship and will continue to bless it in the future.

Now Emsley is 10 days old and as of this past Monday at 5pm, Amy's rights were officially terminated and she is ours. No one will come and take her away from us. Our daughter. Wow...

Introducing Emsley Breanne

Well, after what felt like a long wait for us, the time finally came for our daughter to make her grand entrance into the world!! After Amy (birthmom) had a tough and somewhat long labor, she finally arrived on April 17th at 11:59 p.m. She weighed 7lbs 10 oz and is 20 inches. I want to do a longer post with some of the details of her birth and our time with Amy in the hospital but that will have to be for another time (because it is an amazing story!)...I have a beautiful little girl I would rather stare at!

First Family Photo

Here she is!

Our Daughter's Room!!!

Finally!!! I took some pictures of the baby's room today and decided it was about time to show off this room. There are still a couple little things that we have to decorate the room but one of them is a thing with her name (which we can't put up till after she is born!) and the other a good friend is helping us design. It is definitely a room that we are so happy about. We have worked hard at making this room comfortable and beautiful for our child to be in (well, maybe more for us to be in!). Mike worked hard at painting the cabinet a year ago with my dad and then painted the bookcase (which we both LOVE LOVE LOVE!).

This is the view of the room from the door. The colors are neutral so we were ready for a boy or a girl. We have tried to make it more girlie since finding out we are having a girl.

This is the crib, cabinet and bookcase that Mike painted.

Our gorgeous dresser! I love the window treatments...so sheer and light but adds a little something.

This the bookcase that Mike painted. He did such a great job and I love that he is wanting to do these projects and take on his dad role! Mike took such time and care in painting this cabinet and picking the colors just right...I think it looks amazing.

This is the recliner and closet...lots of space for this little girl!

My parents bought this baby bedding for us over a year ago. We love it and I personally think it is very girlie with that print on it. And the colors are so neutral and calming...which is what we wanted in our baby's room.

Mike also painted these canvas for the room...we like the stars and moons. We also have a moon nightlight by the door so it keeps with the theme.

We have bought and gotten so many bows for this little girl. She is gonna be such a girlie girl!

Even though the room was blue, brown and yellow...we had to do some pink somewhere. She has some cute outfits...which I cannot wait to put on her!

Last is the cabinet...I know you can't see the outside but this is all the diapers, wipes, formula and bottles we have so far. I know we will need so much more but this is a good start.

Well, glad I could show off our little girl's room for you all! We are so happy and have LOVED preparing this room for her. It has been waiting for her a year and a half and know that it has been totally worth the wait. We have taken our time getting this room together and now we will actually get to meet her and welcome her home with her own beautiful room!