Having a grateful heart!

It has been so easy for Mike and I to get caught up in the negative aspects of our life. We aren't able to have any children of our own, we haven't been matched yet, or the fact that the other couple got chosen in this last situation. But God has convicted us to see His hand at work in all things. Tonight my husband and I realized that we are quite selfish and easily dissatisfied with what He has given us or the way He is doing things in our lives. But He also gave us a greater understanding for Him and how He desires us to be as His children.

Since starting this adoption process, we heard from some of the people at the agency that Mike and I are the "ideal couple" and should be matched quickly with a birthmom. We lived off those words..."ideal couple" and "matched quickly" became the terms we used to tell people why we thought we would be parents soon. And soon they were the words that filled our egos and gave us hope in something that God did not provide. Sure, the agency probably wasn't just yanking our chain when they said that but we took it and ran with it. So when this past birthmom came up, we pretty much assumed that Mike and Kim Wise, the "ideal couple" at our agency would be chosen. Little did we know that God was going to use this situation to humble us and bring us on our knees in repentance before Him.

We now see so much more clearly, as if the opaque covering was lifted from our eyes. Not that this should come as a shock to most of you who know us but we are sooo not "ideal." I know...big shock! We are far from it. We have baggage and drama and we are completely imperfect. There is nothing that makes us any more special than the next couple. And for the first time in months, we are so grateful to have an understanding about that. We are also grateful for God allowing us to be passed on by that birthmom. He knows what He is doing and that fact that she felt a peace about the couple she chose is reason enough to be praising God. To find peace in a situation like that for her is truly something that only God can provide. And through this situation, we will be matched with someone who feels a peace about us. The imperfect couple that we are. Lastly, we are so joyful for that couple. They get to be parents of that child and love and cherish it. And maybe they have been waiting for a long time to be matched with a birthmom...longer than us...and now they are able to see God working in this situation. He is allowing His timing and will to be done for them because that is how He planned it from the beginning. How dare we question Him and His will.

Ok so I know this is a ridiculously long post but tonight was a good night....and tomorrow WILL be a great day. Tomorrow I will wake up and see God in all things and be grateful. For the breaths I take, for the husband He has blessed me with, for the rain, for my job, for the friends and family He has given me, and for the hope I have in Him. We may not get "the call" tomorrow or the next day but I can hope that the day will come...and I am grateful that my God already knows which day!