Monday, September 20, 2010

Quarter of a century

Today is my last day of being 24 years old. I know that most people (who are older than me) tell me that I am still so young and have a lot to experience but I have been through a lot in my 24 years, 364 days. And as I look back, I just want to simply say that I am so grateful for it all. I thank God for the ups and the downs. The happy and the sad. The fun and the terrible. It is all a part of my story of ME!

We are celebrating tomorrow at the Magic Kingdom at DisneyWorld...and it is amazing here. Weather is perfect and its like God lightened the humidity just for our vacation. I am so grateful to my husband for this time away together. As we sat over dinner tonight I was so reminded of what a great life I have.

And tomorrow as I turn 25 years old, I want to look forward to the next years to come. I hope they are just as great, fun, terrible, sad, and crazy as the last 25 have been!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Fasting

I've never really fasted from anything before. I guess I never thought I had the need to. There was nothing, in my opinion, I needed to be away from in order to grow and become a better person. At least until recently.

I think I need to go back a little bit. About a year ago, I had about 15 friends who were pregnant. My struggle with infertility was tearing at my heart every minute of the day and to top it off, I had to watch their pregnancy on facebook. It was torture. So I gave it up. And I would love to tell you that I did it cold turkey and just didn't check it...but that would be a HUGE lie! My darling husband went onto my account and changed the password (and his!) so that I could not go on at all. I stayed off for a few months, and let my heart heal a little bit. It was the best time of my life. I wasn't constantly consumed with this stupid social network with my so-called "friends" or what I like to call them...my stalker subjects. And to top it off, I didn't have to constantly look at my friends bellies as their child grew inside of them or hear if it is a boy or girl. Again, it was a great time away. And when I felt I was ready, I got my password and went back to my usual facebook life.

This was ok...until recently. I'm an email and facebook junky. I love to be on it and check it and see what everyone is doing. And the weirdest thing is that I don't know if I really care that they went to the dentist and had 4 cavities filled or not (sorry friends!).

But the 2 worst things were happening because of my time spent on facebook. I ignored my husband and I ignored my God. Mike was constantly getting ignored because I would quickly grab my laptop and look at the last news from everyone...some people I actually care about pictures and stuff they post but others are people I don't even talk to anymore....my old life. But even worse was that I would choose to go on facebook so much that my time with God and in His word was almost non-existent.

This past Sunday at church and also at our small group I was challenged to think of the things that keep me from going deep with God...let alone having a regular personal time with Him. So I told Mike that I need him to change the old facebook password that he so lovingly created for me a year ago for the next 3 weeks. For 3 weeks I am with God everyday. I have been talking to Him, listening to Him, and desiring to be close to my Father. I haven't felt this passionate about God in...well I don't even know if I ever felt this way about Him. And as I read the Bible, I am reading it with different eyes. It's as if I only read it as a story and not as the truth of Christ before. And I am really asking God to change me and mold me into the woman He has always wanted me to be in these next weeks....and that if He wants me to cancel facebook, that He will give me the strength and peace to do so. I don't need it...I just need Him.

So my first fast. It is powerful and is drawing me closer to 2 very important people in my life. Mike and I have had some fun just hanging out, going for walks, and talking about God and read books to help us grow. And again, with God...my eternal Father who I have put aside for far too long.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Have Faith

I have been struggling lately. I feel like God forgot about us and in this time of doubt, a dear friend prayed with me and then reminded me of a song from our church worship CD. Its called "Have Faith" and it really touched home with me. I need this and have listened to it a bunch today. It is my prayer for my life right now and maybe it can be yours for what you are going through.

CHORUS
In trust, believe
Take hold, receive
BE BOLD! BE STRONG! HAVE FAITH!
Let go of doubt
With hope step out
BE BOLD! BE STRONG! HAVE FAITH!

Have faith when the test is long
Have faith, right will conquer wrong
Have faith, God's working out His plan
Have faith in His sovereignty
Have faith, though you cannot see
Have faith, stay the course, persevere

CHORUS

Have faith, God will vindicate
Have faith through the endless wait
Have faith, God's timing is the best
Have faith, God is very near
Have faith, don't give into fear
Have faith, stay the course, persevere

CHORUS

Hold onto the God who's holding on to you
Be strong in the grace that God is giving you
Hold onto the God who's holding on to you
Be strong in the grace that God is giving you