Monday, January 18, 2010

Having a grateful heart!

It has been so easy for Mike and I to get caught up in the negative aspects of our life. We aren't able to have any children of our own, we haven't been matched yet, or the fact that the other couple got chosen in this last situation. But God has convicted us to see His hand at work in all things. Tonight my husband and I realized that we are quite selfish and easily dissatisfied with what He has given us or the way He is doing things in our lives. But He also gave us a greater understanding for Him and how He desires us to be as His children.

Since starting this adoption process, we heard from some of the people at the agency that Mike and I are the "ideal couple" and should be matched quickly with a birthmom. We lived off those words..."ideal couple" and "matched quickly" became the terms we used to tell people why we thought we would be parents soon. And soon they were the words that filled our egos and gave us hope in something that God did not provide. Sure, the agency probably wasn't just yanking our chain when they said that but we took it and ran with it. So when this past birthmom came up, we pretty much assumed that Mike and Kim Wise, the "ideal couple" at our agency would be chosen. Little did we know that God was going to use this situation to humble us and bring us on our knees in repentance before Him.

We now see so much more clearly, as if the opaque covering was lifted from our eyes. Not that this should come as a shock to most of you who know us but we are sooo not "ideal." I know...big shock! We are far from it. We have baggage and drama and we are completely imperfect. There is nothing that makes us any more special than the next couple. And for the first time in months, we are so grateful to have an understanding about that. We are also grateful for God allowing us to be passed on by that birthmom. He knows what He is doing and that fact that she felt a peace about the couple she chose is reason enough to be praising God. To find peace in a situation like that for her is truly something that only God can provide. And through this situation, we will be matched with someone who feels a peace about us. The imperfect couple that we are. Lastly, we are so joyful for that couple. They get to be parents of that child and love and cherish it. And maybe they have been waiting for a long time to be matched with a birthmom...longer than us...and now they are able to see God working in this situation. He is allowing His timing and will to be done for them because that is how He planned it from the beginning. How dare we question Him and His will.

Ok so I know this is a ridiculously long post but tonight was a good night....and tomorrow WILL be a great day. Tomorrow I will wake up and see God in all things and be grateful. For the breaths I take, for the husband He has blessed me with, for the rain, for my job, for the friends and family He has given me, and for the hope I have in Him. We may not get "the call" tomorrow or the next day but I can hope that the day will come...and I am grateful that my God already knows which day!

Friday, January 15, 2010

God obviously has other plans...

Well Anita called us today and told us that the birthmom picked a different couple today. Feeling a little sad but realizing that God must have known that this wasn't the best situation or that there is something way better for us.

Thanks for praying for us and please continue to pray for this birthmom as she is nearing the end of her pregnancy.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Potentially good news!

This week has been an eventful one. Mike and I have been feeling a little down because we feel like our agency just isn't communicating with us about where we are in the process. So we sent an email to the social worker who deals with birthmoms (and one to our social worker Anita) telling them how we were feeling and asking for any updates. The other social worker wrote us back saying we have been shown twice but that we weren't chosen and there is another potential birthmom but she is really early in her pregnancy so they aren't showing her any families for a couple months. We felt sooooo discouraged by this because she was the one who kept telling us that we are going to get matched super quick. This was not a good week.....

UNTIL...

Our social worker Anita called me a couple days ago and said that she has a birthmom who is 34 weeks along and who will probably be delivering early due to some health issues (the girl just found out she was pregnant 2 weeks ago!!!). And because there is a chance that the baby will be a preemie, Anita was calling to see if we would be okay being shown to her!!! Anita met with her yesterday and gave her our profile book to look at. Then the birthmom (who is hoping to choose a couple very very soon) will decide who she wants to meet with and ultimately be matched with.

We are soo excited but also trying to remember that she may not choose us still. We have to be realistic in the situation but can't help but getting a little giddy about the prospect of being parents in just a few weeks time!

Ways for you to be praying this week...pray that she likes us and that we hear from Anita this week with some GREAT news! We really urge you everyone to be praying for the health of the birthmom who has been at the hospital on bedrest for a couple weeks and the baby since it will most likely be delivered preemie. And lastly, pray for our hearts that we can patiently wait a little bit more, that we can also get excited, but remembering that God may have a different birthmom picked out for us.

But ultimately we want to praise God for this great step forward. We have been praying for that for a couple weeks and it is so great to really see His hand in all this!!!