Match Meeting

Thank you so much for your prayers and words of encouragement to Mike and I in this adoption process. You have no idea how much you all mean to us.

Well, we had our meeting with the birthparents Wednesday morning. It was very surreal to be meeting the people who may give us their child but overall we felt good about the meeting. It was so great getting to know them and hear their story. They are very nice; she is kinda shy but he is very talkative...which is probably why we met for over 2 1/2 hours!! After the awkward introduction time, we started to talk and definitely felt more comfortable with them. We talked not only about the adoption but even talked about history and beer!!! So it was great and we are definitely glad it is over.

The birthparents did not make a final decision as to whether they are going to give us their baby. They need some time, which Mike and I fully support. We want them to feel 100% comfortable about this decision. We feel that if they choose us, we will have a good relationship with them in the future which is what we have been praying for!

Please be praying for the birthmother as we could see that this is a difficult decision for her. She knows that she is making the best decision for this child but it is still hard on her. Pray for peace for whatever decision she makes.

We are so glad to see God at work in this situation and are trusting that He knows what He is doing. The verse that I have been really thinking of it Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will makes your path straight." That is what I am really holding onto this week!

Looking foward to giving an update once we hear more!

Pre-meeting emotions

We will be meeting with the birthparents in less than 24 hours. Wow. I have been sleeping poorly the last few nights because my mind has been racing....what kind of questions will they ask us, will they like us, how much should we share about this or that? That and a million other questions are making me crazy! Then I start to think of how I might answer those questions. Which I really have no idea how I will answer them.

So how am I feeling right now? I'm so nervous and anxious for this meeting. I feel like my stomach is twisted and turned a million times. I think that the anticipation of this meeting is really fueling this nerves. I mean, we have been waiting to have a baby for over 2 years and waiting to be matched for 8 months now. So now, we are here and now it is real.

Yet, through all the nerves, I am excited somehow. I cannot wait to meet this amazing couple. They are willing to do something so wonderful for us and that baby. Tomorrow is a big day for us. Tomorrow could be the day that we find out if we are going to be a mom and dad. We could know if we are having a boy or a girl and with that we will know what name we will give to our child. Tomorrow could be the beginning of our story. A story that we are able to praise God for everyday!!!

If you think of Mike and I tomorrow, please be praying for us. Be praying for our story---that God be writing it as he sees fit. That He may write this couple's story as well. And if ours connect somehow, that God would be in control of that. And also, please pray for rest. I know the birthmom is nervous about tomorrow just as we are. Pray that we can sleep and be refreshed and ready for our meeting.

I look forward to sharing news, no matter the outcome tomorrow. God is in control and it is that knowledge that gives us a peace as we enter into this part of our lives.

Meeting date set!

Ok...here are the details for our very big day this week! Sorry for leaving you hanging on that last post!!

We FINALLY have a date set for our meeting with the birthparents....this Wednesday at 10:30AM in San Diego. Sounds like its going to be a super casual meeting and hopefully we will know by the end of that day whether we will be matched with them or not.

In other news, Mike will be leaving for Houston next week for work. We have known about him leaving for a while now but thought it would be either today or tomorrow. We got the phone call from the social worker about an hour after he booked his flight for this coming Tuesday morning. After scheduling the meeting for Wednesday, he got approval to leave this coming Sunday. So he will be leaving after church on May 9th...that means I get a few more days with him!

God definitely was at work because just the night before this call, we decided to just let go of our stress and not worry about it all. We were trying to control the situation (which we really couldn't) so we just left it at Jesus' feet...and it felt nice to release it to Him. It's just so amazing to see how God had planned for us to move forward with Mike's trip to Houston and trust Him, then almost right after get a call about our meeting.

Ways to be praying: that we can be ourselves and let God speak through us as we answer their questions; for their hearts as they prepare to meet the people who may raise their child; and really pray that we can be an example of Christ...not only as individuals but also through our marriage. Mike and I are praising God for all He has done in us in the last couple years and give Him ALL the glory in everything! And just be praying for the time that we are apart in general (safety, no loneliness, etc).

Can't wait to give an update Wednesday after things are hopefully finalized!

Seeing God work is pretty AMAZING!

When Mike and I look at our lives in the last couple years, it blows us away to think of not only what we have gone through but also how much we have grown. It was over 2 1/2 years ago that we decided to start trying to start our little Wise family. We were so excited but never really took the situation to God. Then over almost 2 years later, we felt that God was closing the door on us having biological children and was clearly opening a door to adoption. We were scared and so overwhelmed by all the tasks that appeared before us. And yet, even as we began that process, we tried to lean on our own strength to get us through it all. We loved that we had the control and could get things done and see how much WE have accomplished. Mike and I thought that if a birthmom chose us it was because WE were the "ideal couple." But then something happened (I'm not quite sure what) that made us decide to let go of the control and the pride and we laid our worries, saddness, struggles, heartache, and lack of trust at God's feet. We finally got our hearts where they should be...with our Savior.

Now here we are April of 2010 and seeing how much He has done in our lives just amazes us. God is so good and all glory and praise goes to Him for He is sovereign in all things. He decides how our lives will go and He will be our joy even in times of struggle or impatience. He will open doors and close them when He chooses. Mike put a sticky note on our bathrooom mirror a couple days ago and said that we are going to memorize one each week. The verse for the week just shows how great our God is and that all glory goes to Him and Him alone. Romans 8:18, "For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." The tough times that we have gone through are not even worth comparing to what God will show us in His timing. What a great way to view suffering. To know that God will reveal His glory and His plans for us and it will make all those tough times completely and utterly insignificant.

As I started this post, I really wanted to make sure that it was truly about the Lord. That He is honored and praised before I give any updates on what is going on in our lives. This is the way I want to live every day of my life. Remembering Christ first.

The last month has been crazy. As I said earlier in this post, God has opened some doors and closed others and it was through those doors opening and shutting, that we have found ourselves more in love with God. He allowed us to find patience so we weren't waiting for the phone to ring. And it was then that the phone DID ring. Last tuesday afternoon we got "the call." One of the social workers from Nightlight called to say that a birthmother wanted to meet us. Us, Mike and Kim, the couple who thought we would be snatched up early on in this process because we let our pride get in the way. Mike and Kim, the couple who watched as God took those things that made us the "ideal couple" and made them the exact reasons why we weren't getting matched. Mike and Kim, the couple who now know that the only reason why we got this call was because God had this planned all along and to whom ALL PRAISE IS GIVEN!!!

More details in another post....

The mercy of God

I think I have always known what mercy is in life. I mean as a kid we always played that mercy game where you try and hurt the other person's hand until they scream "mercy." But lately Mike and I have been wondering what does the mercy of God look like. The Bible is full of passages that talk about asking and even begging for God's mercy. Psalm 116:1, "I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy..." Biblegateway.com defines mercy as "compassion for the miserable. Its object is misery. By the atoning sacrifice of Christ a way is open for the exercise of mercy towards the sons of men, in harmony with the demands of truth and righteousness." We are in a state of misery and yet God chooses to show compassion to us in those times. How often do we use this as a model for our lives?

In this time of our lives, we are miserable. No we aren't moping around and crying all the time, but yet we are in misery. Misery is distress caused by a need or another source. For us, it is the desire to be parents. By this need/desire not being fulfilled, we are in a state of misery. But God has grace on us by giving us a good heart about it. Lately we have been needing some mercy though...to get out of this time of need and enter into a state of happiness.

We know that God is 100% capable of showing mercy and if we believe it, He will do it. There is a song with these words..."Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy on me..." and as powerful as those words are, sometimes we sing it without truly believing it. In A.W. Tozer's book, Knowledge of the Holy, there is a chapter on the mercy of God. He basically says that we need to know and believe that God is merciful. Not that he WAS or WILL BE but that he IS merciful to us now.

I believe this with my whole heart and soul and know that in God's perfect timing, God will show mercy to Mike and I. It may not be in the way that we thought it would or it will be exactly what we are asking for but He is perfectly capable of showing mercy to us right now. WOW...my God is great!

My cousin's wedding...

I know...I know. I have been totally M.I.A. for a couple weeks but I am back and you will be excited to know that I am gonna blog more (maybe even 2 tonight!!).

Ok...so this past weekend my cousin Danielle got married at the Lake Arrowhead resort. It was a beautiful day and a gorgeous setting for a wedding. It was fun to stay in a cabin with my family and get all dressed up!


My cousin and her new hubby Rudy looked great...and this is gonna sound weird but my grandma was the officiant of the ceremony. At first, I thought it was odd but she did an amazing job. She got certified for the day and pretty much rocked it. My grandpa died about 14 years ago and you could tell that she was missing him seeing yet another granddaughter get married. But he was deeply remembered and by her officiating, she brought a little piece of him with her. Here she is with her granddaughters.

All in all the wedding was great but it is sure great to be back home!

What an event!

Today was the start of a long weekend for me. At Biola, we are celebrating Homecoming. It is a fun tradition we started last year to encourage our alumni, friends, students, faculty, and staff of Biola to come and "Revisit, Reconnect, Reunite." (Which was our theme this year!) We have been planning this event for months now and even though I don't do much of the planning, I get to be a minor part in the process. I created the website and took all the reservations. Sometimes being at a Biola event, I start to wish that I had the typical college experience. I'm not so much jealous that about living in dorms or eating in the cafe, but I am jealous of the relationships that remain after all these years.

While celebrating with our grads from 50 years ago, our Golden Eagles, I got to see people who spent years of their lives together reconnect after all these years. It was absolutely beautiful and is exactly why this is my favorite event of the year. God is so amazing the way he leads people to this school and how he keeps their values and love of Biola the same. I don't talk to any of my friends from college. And the friends I do have on facebook from Cal State Fullerton, I would not want to get together with. We are very different and our values in life are different. The people who have friends from Biola have Christ as their connector and that is something to cherish.

This is really why Mike and I really appreciated and not taken for granted the amazing friendships we have at church because they are the friendships that are eternal. They are the friends that we will not only have while on earth but know that we will see them in Heaven as well.

Well, God is good and is doing great things at Biola!!!!

Wait and Hope in the Lord!

Every so often at church there is a sermon that I feel like was given for just me. Yesterday was that day. It was as if Dave Talley stood on the stage at church and I was the only one in the congregation. But as I started to think about it more and talked to people, they too felt the same way. This sermon was perfect for so many people. Whether it is waiting for a baby, a job, a boyfriend...we are all waiting for something and tend to forget that we need to wait on the Lord.

I have said it before, I am not a patient person and waiting is not my thing. I like things to happen right away...I even liked getting up on Christmas morning as a kid at like 2AM because I just could not wait. And even though I don't get up quite as early anymore...I do wait impatiently for the Lord to provide for my needs. But I want to be waiting not just for the things I want to happen but to wait to see God's will be done in my life. I want to grow as a woman of God through this process. Getting into the word more, learning more about who God is and seeing Him always present in my life, and to fear Him for He really is a powerful God who is definitely underestimated sometimes. I desire to see this be the woman I am.

This process has made me more aware of my shortcomings. I recognize when I am falling short of the glory of God more and desire to change that. Maybe it is because I know that soon I will be a mother and want to be a good example for my child or maybe it is that God wants to use this time of waiting to mold me into the woman I long to be. Whatever the reason, I am so grateful for this time. It humbles me to be so aware of what a sinful person I am. But I know that God is with me.

He is with me as I wait for my child to be in my arms. He is with me as I watch my phone not ring everyday. He is with me as I see so many women getting pregnant for the 3rd baby season in a row. He is with me as I eat dinner and even while I type this post. That is something I love about our God and something I strive to live out in my daily life. I want people to see Christ in me...that I may live my life as an woman who has the love of God in her heart and that when Christ returns or calls me home, he may say "well done Kim, my good and faithful servant."

Today's verse to encourage those who are waiting is Romans 12:12: "Rejoice in hope, patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."

Grace Caring!

Our church has a group called Project Hope and the amazing people who are in charge started getting those who are interested or are in the process to adopt or do foster care together. Last night was our first meeting of "Grace Caring" and it was so great to just be with other people who have the same passion as you and who totally understand where we are. While talking with our friends who are adopting a little girl from China soon, they expressed how frustrated they are as they wait for final things to come through. Then we told them how we feel the same way waiting for our call too. It was so nice to just get each other. We know how tiring it can be to do all this paperwork then have to leave it totally in someone else's hands to be able to bring your child home. We are so grateful for our church body and the amazing support we have from so many of them!

I love my husband!

Over 6 1/2 years ago, I got so angry at the man that would one day become not only my husband but my best friend. He started subbing at the daycare I was working for and let the kids be a little rude to me since they had him as a counselor when he worked there before. I was so mad at this guy. I had met this guy when I was a little 6th grader and he was in the 10th grade and we went to the same church but that day at work he was just some guy who was annoying me. I was so mean to him. I even tried to get him fired for being a jerk to me---which didn't end up happening...thank God! A few days later we all went out after work and I apologized to him....and that was my first but certainly not my last conversation with this guy...my guy. Had I known that summer day that I would fall madly in love with him, I might have been a little nicer to him. But I like to think that God wanted me to act like that so I would have to humble myself and apologize to see what a great man he was.

Here we are...celebrating our 7th Valentine's Day together tomorrow. Wow, feels like just yesterday he was picking me up for our first. Mike was in grad school the first 9 months we were dating in the Bay Area. He was so busy with homework and projects that he put off making any plans for our first Valentine's Day together. He had a beatiful bouquet of red roses delivered to my work and picked me up (looking quite handsome!) and told me we were going to Pasadena for dinner....at 10:30pm!!! It was all he could get! We had a fun time walking around and talking and really just being together. And now tomorrow, things are different in a great way. We don't need a fancy restaurant or flowers...just each other and a little dinner at home.

But the point of this post isn't just to tell you about how we met and fell in love or how we spent our first Valentine's Day together but to brag about what an amazing man I am married to. Mike is best and most amazing man ever. He is someone who loves with all his heart. He is kind and considerate but knows how to just tell me the truth, even if it might hurt a little. He has a really stressful and smart person job but he manages to not only work really long days knowing that the quality of his work affects the safety so many people but also come home and help with dishes, bills and so many other things. He is the kind of guy that I feel so comfortable when we are talking or when we are just sitting in silence reading a book. He encourages me to be a better woman, friend, sister, daughter, employee, and person in general but still loves me for me. I respect him and know that he is the reason that I have accomplished a lot of things in my life. He truly is my best friend and on this day of love...I want him and all of you to know that I love him....

And as we are ready to venture into parenting soon...I know that my love for him will only get deeper as I watch him hold our child and play with them. This man will be a great dad and we are all so blessed to have him in our lives!

I love you honey and want to thank you for being my valentine! xoxo
(sorry for the mushy post everyone---it is Valentine's Day though!)