5 months old

Seriously...isn't she the cutest thing you have ever seen! I might be biased but our little girl just steals my heart with her sweet toothless grin and those beautiful blue eyes. Her personality is really starting to come out and we are watching her become a little girl more and more everyday. Love her bundles!

Here are some stats as she turns 5 months:

-Weighs approximately 19 or 20 pounds (no Dr's apt till next month)
-Is about 26 or 27 inches tall
-Is in size 3 diapers
-Wears 6 month clothes (for now---9 month clothes are washed and almost ready to be worn!)
-Still takes 5 bottles a day but just started rice cereal yesterday and did great!
-Rice cereal is given at breakfast & dinner time (trying to get her ready for regular mealime)
-Sleeps about 10-11 hours a night (from about 7:45 or 8pm till about 6:45 or 7am)
-Seriously loves bathtime...has become our favorite time too!
-Is sitting up (somewhat supported) and is doing great at it
-She loves grabbing pretty much anything that is in her general vicinity
-Loves to drink water out of our cups (she has her own sippy cup but prefers ours!)
-Smiles and laughs ALL the time
-Starting to be ticklish now...especially her neck when we dry her after bathtime

So happy that she is a happy loveable little girl! I mean, can I say how blessed we are more than I already do?!?! Can't wait to see what this month holds!

Outcome of yesterday

I think its funny how hyped up we made our visit from Eva, our state appointed Social Worker. I mean, we cleaned our house top to bottom (which I am happy to be still enjoying!) and we bought some general child safety things for the house and we moved things that might be seen as unsafe in the house (our cleaning supplies are now safely stored in our laundry room on the patio!) But the minute Eva walked in our door, 10 minutes late, I could just tell it was going to be a low key meeting. She sat down and went over some general info and went over what the next steps are in the process (I will go over in a second). And then asked about Emsley and her health and growth. But luckily we have the world's happiest and cutest baby so Emsley was more than willing to show Miss Eva how happy she was being our daughter!

Then Eva walked around the house and scanned each room...no real questions about the safety of our home so it was super easy. I mean, I am always grateful for a reason to have a clean house but feel a little silly about how crazy we got about it. I mean, all we wanted was to show her that we are not a crazy sloppy family who doesn't take care of our child's home environment. Its funny how much we want to impress this woman but in the end, by just being ourselves and showing her how much we love that little girl, we showed her everything she needed to know about us and our parenting abilities. Next time we meet, I will probably still crazy clean the house but my attitude about the meeting will be different. I won't just clean to impress but because its a nice excuse to clean the house and make someone feel at home in our home.

So what is next??? So we have to meet with Eva every 3 months. Our next meeting will probably be another home visit because we will most likely be moving soon so she will need to check out our new home again. After the next meeting, because Emsley will be over 6 months old, it will likely be one of our last because Eva can start to write our report. The report hopefully won't take that long but Eva mentioned that she has a lot of cases so I'm thinking it will take her a few months to complete this. Once the report is completed, we can then petition the court for a court date. Well, by we I mean our lawyer! Then the court date could be anywhere from 1 month to 6 months later (depending on availability).

So I guess we are looking at a court date sometime early next summer. I know that seems far off but for us, that is wonderful! I mean, one year ago we were waiting to be matched and our little girl was a mere 10 week fetus. Now she is a beautiful almost 5 month old little girl who we love to pieces. I think we can be patient for another 9 or 10 months!

Step 1 to finalization

After another round of paperwork and hoops to jump through, we are finally starting the adoption finalization process. We are so excited because it means that Emsley will be officially ours soon. In our hearts, she has been ours for a long time but to the state and any else who might care, she is our baby girl. So here we are, step one. We are going to be meeting with the state appointed Social Worker, Eva, Thursday, Sept 8th at 10 a.m. Not sure what this time with her will look like but we are going to be working on baby proofing our home this weekend. We know that the state requires you to have your home COMPLETELY ready for a baby...whether they can crawl or not.

At this point, I am really eager to get this step done because I know it can be a long time till we actually get a court date for the finalization hearing. One thing at the time though and we are just so grateful to be moving forward. I look back on this blog and think back to when we said the same thing about the adoption process...that we just can't wait to finish our paperwork and homestudy so we can be shown to birthmoms to start the next step. Weird that is has been just over 2 years now since we started on this adoption journey and now have a beautiful daughter in our family who has changed our world forever! Well, I hope to update after our meeting next week to explain what goes on.

Here's to starting a new and exciting phase in this time!

4 months old

Can't believe how long its been since I posted about anything...especially about our wonderful little girl! She is changing daily and we are loving watching her experience so many things for the first time. This past month we have been able to go to the aquarium and watch her fascination with the fish...her favorite were the jellyfish. Emsley also started going to the nursery during church and has done great. The ladies have said she is a snuggler! She is so good with other people...which we are so happy about! Another HUGE milestone was that she finally figured out how to roll over! She started trying a couple weeks ago but always got stuck with her arms under her. But just a week ago, she got it and boy is it fun to watch. It takes her about 4 seconds to turn over...she has totally got it now! We recently got her a jumper and she loves that too. Definitely gonna have an early walker (and probably talker too!) Like I say every month, this little girl is such a blessing to us and Mike and I could not be more in love with her. Being her parents is such a joy and priviledge.

Here are some stats as she turns 4 months:

-Weighs 18 1/2 lbs and is in the 100th percentile!!!
-Is 25 3/4 inches tall and is in the 95th percentile!
-Is in size 2 diapers
-She primarily wears 6 month clothes, but some of her 3 month stuff still fits her (shockingly!)
-East 5 times a day with about 6 oz each (but will probably start rice cereal soon)
-Sleeps about 11 hours a night. Bed by 8 and wakes at 7am.
-Bathtime is a favorite. She has a bath book that she likes...to eat!
-Smiles and laughs are pretty common around here!
-Every day we sit in front of her mirror and she will smile at me and herself
-Stands often (with our help of course!)
-Grabs objects (including faces and mommy's hair) really well
-Follows things with her eyes with complete ease
-Loves music...we have a Disney soundtrack for and that seems to be the best
-Isn't really into books, unless they taste good!!

We already have some amazing memories with her and can't wait to make even more as she grows and continues to learn and take in this big world she is experiencing!

3 months old

Today our little girl is 3 months old. It was an extra special day for us because today we also celebrated Mike's 31st birthday. I just see such a beautiful little girl and how she is growing and learning everyday. Being able to stay home with her is an absolute blessing that I will never take for granted. Emsley is so talkative and very strong. She definitely babbles all the time and usually does it while standing up (she is holding our fingers obviously!). Dare we say that she might be a walker and talker before we know it. I truly think she will just get more fun as she grows and is even more interactive.

Here are some stats as she turns 3 months:

-Weighs about 15 or 16 pounds (her next appt is next month)
-Is about 24 or 25 inches
-Is in size 2 diapers now
-We are in transition to her 6 month clothes now (but her 3 month still fit!)
-Eats 6 oz every 3 hours, 5 times a day
-Sleeps about 11 hours a night (bed by 8 or 8:30, up at 7 or so)
-Still loves bathtime...always calms her down and is now starting to splash around
-Smiles at a wall hanging we have, named Wally, all the time (cutest thing ever!)
-Stands up easily while she is only holding our fingers
-Learning new noises, like mmmm and gah
-Very good at grabbing objects in front of her
-Following things well with her eyes
-Starting to play with a few of her toys (had these rings that she likes a lot)
-Looks for us when we walk away or will turn her head when she hears either of us talking
-Knows when we aren't there and will get a little fussy till we come back
-Enjoys music and for us to read to her (we get a bunch of books from the library)

Another month with our little girl! We love her so much and absolutely love being her parents. Look forward to seeing what amazing things she learns this coming month!

I love adoption.

I feel like the title could be the whole post...but I guess I should explain. Obviously, adoption has absolutely forever changed our family in such amazing ways, but there is so much more that I love about adoption. It is only in an adoption situation that you completely let God choose your child. How great is that...that the Father who knows exactly what we need and will have, chose the little girl that would be joining our family forever?!?! I didn't choose anything about her or her situation but God did. Kinda like how God adopts us...he doesn't choose us because we are perfect. He chose us because He loves us and wants us to be a part of His family and spend eternity with Him.

Adoption is amazing because I love how I can't really compare Emsley to myself or Mike. I know that people have said she kinda looks like us or whatever but when it all comes down to it, she doesn't. When we first started the adoption process, I thought I would be sad to look at my child and not "see" myself or Mike in him/her. But I realized something this week. I may know that she doesn't get her chin or smile from me, but she ultimately gets it from God. Again, I am seeing how everything in adoption (and really should in life!) comes back to our Lord. She has the smile he gave her, the beautiful, full lips are a product of the Lord's mighty work. Most parents love comparing themselves to their kids but I love that we only can compare them with how great God is giving her those qualities.

Lastly, I love adoption because it gives me an appreciation for Emsley that I would not have had if we had a biological child. I love watching her grow and with each cry or fussy day, I learn more about her, about myself as a parent, and again (not to be too repetitive) more about God. Mike and I have a desire to not complain about being parents or about our daughter at all. We don't want to take for granted or be ungrateful that we have this absolutely beautiful gift from God in our lives. That is why we named her Emsley...our little reminder of where she really came from and to whom we give praise to daily for!

So......I love adoption! It isn't just about becoming a parent, but allowing God to write your story in a way that really only he can. It is by his hand that our lives are formed and fitted together and adoption reveals that to me more ways that I can express!

His 1st Father's Day

It was last year that we got the text saying that the birthmom we were matched with was keeping the baby. I mean, we never thought that this birthmom was going to actually go through with the adoption but it still hurt. I remember feeling so broken for Mike. It was supposed to be a day where we could celebrate his soon to be fatherhood-ness. But instead we spent it realizing how our family was still missing our child.

Little did we know that what the next Father's Day would hold! This year Mike had his girls by his side and I got to spoil him with love and attention. We went to BJ's so that Mike could get his Father's Day cup from there (finally!). I got him a few little gifts that I thought he would like and Emsley made him a coffee mug with a bunch of pictures of her, the 2 of them, and a couple of the 3 of us too. I know that she really doesn't even interact much yet, but that just makes me look forward to the next Father's Day where she will be able to stand up and wrap her arms around her daddy and hopefully say I love you to him.

I think I have to have a little brag time now about Mike as a dad. Mike is the most amazing father...Emsley just adores him and I even think she looks over at the door when he comes home at night. She loves him almost as much as he loves her. Mike is affectionate with her, caring, gentle, and so playful that she is constantly happy. You know how wives always tell their husbands that they didn't think they could love their spouse more until they had kids??? I never truly understood what they meant until Emsley came into our family. Watching him love her and how they interact together as daddy and daughter makes me see him in such a different light. I love this man with all of my heart and it truly deepens with each day...each book read...each toe kissed!

I am so grateful for being married to Mike and now I am even more blessed to be parenting alongside him as we raise Emsley together. Father's Day has pretty much become one of my favorite days...because it gives me one more reason to shower Mike with love.

Cherished...

Last week Mike and I were on our way down to the San Diego Fair with Emsley to see our favorite band, Switchfoot, perform. While on the drive, I asked him if he thought he could love our daughter as much as he does and his response is absolutely beautiful. He said that he does love her so much but more than that, he cherished Emsley. I love that...that our love for her isn't just the typical "I love you" but it is deeper. It might be because she is such an absolute blessing to us. Cherish means to "hold dear"...I mean, we absolutely feel that way about her. Emsley didn't come to our family in the typical manner. After desiring to have a family for 3 years, we finally have her in our lives and could not be more grateful.

Sometimes I can't even remember what life was like before Emsley. As cliche as it sounds, she kinda completes our family. It's as if our family was missing a puzzle piece and we have been looking for it for years and finally the puzzle is complete. We no longer feel incomplete. This is why we cherish her. Now don't get me wrong, I know that all parents probably feel this way about their children but I kinda think that adoption makes loving your children unique and more deep. Maybe that is why God's love for us is more deep and unique...because we were adopted by Him and He feels so lucky and blessed to have us in His family. Because we were someone He desired to have in His family for a long time and finally when we do, His heart feels overjoyed and complete.

I have such a greater understanding of what our adoption means and how joyful it makes God to be our Father. Mike and I cherish our little girl and know that our family is now whole with her in it!!!

2 months old

Emsley is 2 months old today. She has been so much fun lately and we love seeing her cute personality come out more every day. She smiles at us all the time and I think she is just about to laugh. She is always "talking" to us and enjoys just looking around. She is so curious about her surroundings and definitely follows things with her eyes more now. I love getting to stay home every day with her and play, talk, read, and just be with her. She is absolutely a great baby and we both feel so blessed to call her ours.

Here are some stats as she turns 2 months:

-Weighs 14 lbs 3 oz and is in the 99th percentile
-Is 23 3/4 inches tall and is in the 97th percentile
-Is in size 1 diapers but can probably move into size 2 soon
-Wears 3 month clothes but they are getting a little short on her!
-Eats 4-6 oz every 3 hours during the day
-Sleeps pretty much through the night (bed by 9 and wakes by 5:30 or 6)
-Smiles everytime she gets her diaper changed
-Bath time is her favorite!
-Legs and neck are very strong now
-Is starting to grasp the things in her playmat...still working on the hand-eye coordination
-Follows us with her eyes when we walk around
-Had her first babysitters...she did great!!!
-Likes to babble and have conversations with us
-Makes more and more different noises everyday
-Loves being read to...might have to get her her own library card soon!

I can't say how much we love Emsley enough. She is such a joy and we love being her parents. I love watching Mike be her daddy...she just gets so happy when she sees him after work. I love watching that relationship already blossom. Looking forward to more amazing milestones with our precious daughter in the upcoming month!

God's greater plan

I remember writing this post (click here) and thinking that it would just be so much easier if God allowed us to get pregnant. At the time, I think it is still what I wanted. I was reflecting on that time this week and thinking that if God had just let me have my way, I would not be Emsley's mommy. That this little girl who I love with all my heart would not be my daughter. Sometimes we have to surrender our plans that we think are perfect to allow God to continue His work in our lives. I embraced my infertility and it was because of that, I now call myself mom to one of the cutest babies ever.

When we found out we were having a girl and really started to think about names, it was so important to us that her name be a reflection of the work God has done in our lives and the way He orchestrated this adoption. When we saw the name Emsley in a baby name book, we fell in love with its meaning. "A gift from above"...her name would always serve as a reminder of God's greater plan. The plan to bring our daughter Emsley into our lives through adoption. And ultimately, this shows us how much God loves us because He too adopted us into His family. I understand and appreciate this more than I ever could before. We are so happy with how God worked out our lives. I'm happy to have endured through infertility because of the beautiful place that Christ has brought us to.