Update

It's been a while since I posted anything so I think its about time!

Mike has been in Houston for 3 weeks and he is now sitting on the couch next to me playing with our new camera we bought for our hopefully growing family! We are looking forward to just spending time together...and totally dreading Tuesday morning when I have to take him back to the airport for another 3 weeks.

After our meeting with the birthparents a few weeks ago, the birthmom got my cell phone number from the agency and called me to get together. I drove down last friday night and we had a nice dinner together. It was really great getting to know her. But throughout our meeting she seemed VERY confused. She kept saying "If I keep the baby....if i keep the baby..." And giving scenarios of what her life will be like after if she decides to keep it. Didn't exactly make me feel great. I felt weird about the meeting. I talked to Anita (our social worker) and told her what happened and she called the birthmom's social worker and explained it all to her. I think that the birthmom needs someone to talk to and doesn't have many people. But she just didn't realize that I am probably not the best person for that job! So I talked to her social worker last monday and the birthmom has decided that she doesn't want to make a decision about whether to keep the baby or not until after it is born.

So we are back to square one. But we both agree that we are kinda in a good situation...on one hand, she may still give us her baby in a matter of weeks. On the other, now that we aren't in a match process with anyone, we are able to be shown to other birthparents. We are disappointed about everything but feel like God is still in control of everything. I have learned that I tend to find my security in the times when I am able to control a situation. But I am working on putting my control aside and let God lead me in life. That my security comes from Him, the one who is able to do far greater than I can even imagine. Mike and i are so grateful to have a God who we can rely on 100%. Who leads us and allows us to grow closer to Him everyday.

And lastly, Mike and I have decided that since we may still be adopting soon, I have put in my notice at Biola and my last day is June 25th. This is a HUGE leap of faith for us. We feel at peace with this decision and know that God has given us that peace for a reason and we are definitely resting in that.

Well, I am off to spend time with my hubby! Thanks for being a part of this crazy journey with us...we love seeing God work in us and to share it with others just makes it so much more meaningful!