Cherished...

Last week Mike and I were on our way down to the San Diego Fair with Emsley to see our favorite band, Switchfoot, perform. While on the drive, I asked him if he thought he could love our daughter as much as he does and his response is absolutely beautiful. He said that he does love her so much but more than that, he cherished Emsley. I love that...that our love for her isn't just the typical "I love you" but it is deeper. It might be because she is such an absolute blessing to us. Cherish means to "hold dear"...I mean, we absolutely feel that way about her. Emsley didn't come to our family in the typical manner. After desiring to have a family for 3 years, we finally have her in our lives and could not be more grateful.

Sometimes I can't even remember what life was like before Emsley. As cliche as it sounds, she kinda completes our family. It's as if our family was missing a puzzle piece and we have been looking for it for years and finally the puzzle is complete. We no longer feel incomplete. This is why we cherish her. Now don't get me wrong, I know that all parents probably feel this way about their children but I kinda think that adoption makes loving your children unique and more deep. Maybe that is why God's love for us is more deep and unique...because we were adopted by Him and He feels so lucky and blessed to have us in His family. Because we were someone He desired to have in His family for a long time and finally when we do, His heart feels overjoyed and complete.

I have such a greater understanding of what our adoption means and how joyful it makes God to be our Father. Mike and I cherish our little girl and know that our family is now whole with her in it!!!

2 months old

Emsley is 2 months old today. She has been so much fun lately and we love seeing her cute personality come out more every day. She smiles at us all the time and I think she is just about to laugh. She is always "talking" to us and enjoys just looking around. She is so curious about her surroundings and definitely follows things with her eyes more now. I love getting to stay home every day with her and play, talk, read, and just be with her. She is absolutely a great baby and we both feel so blessed to call her ours.

Here are some stats as she turns 2 months:

-Weighs 14 lbs 3 oz and is in the 99th percentile
-Is 23 3/4 inches tall and is in the 97th percentile
-Is in size 1 diapers but can probably move into size 2 soon
-Wears 3 month clothes but they are getting a little short on her!
-Eats 4-6 oz every 3 hours during the day
-Sleeps pretty much through the night (bed by 9 and wakes by 5:30 or 6)
-Smiles everytime she gets her diaper changed
-Bath time is her favorite!
-Legs and neck are very strong now
-Is starting to grasp the things in her playmat...still working on the hand-eye coordination
-Follows us with her eyes when we walk around
-Had her first babysitters...she did great!!!
-Likes to babble and have conversations with us
-Makes more and more different noises everyday
-Loves being read to...might have to get her her own library card soon!

I can't say how much we love Emsley enough. She is such a joy and we love being her parents. I love watching Mike be her daddy...she just gets so happy when she sees him after work. I love watching that relationship already blossom. Looking forward to more amazing milestones with our precious daughter in the upcoming month!

God's greater plan

I remember writing this post (click here) and thinking that it would just be so much easier if God allowed us to get pregnant. At the time, I think it is still what I wanted. I was reflecting on that time this week and thinking that if God had just let me have my way, I would not be Emsley's mommy. That this little girl who I love with all my heart would not be my daughter. Sometimes we have to surrender our plans that we think are perfect to allow God to continue His work in our lives. I embraced my infertility and it was because of that, I now call myself mom to one of the cutest babies ever.

When we found out we were having a girl and really started to think about names, it was so important to us that her name be a reflection of the work God has done in our lives and the way He orchestrated this adoption. When we saw the name Emsley in a baby name book, we fell in love with its meaning. "A gift from above"...her name would always serve as a reminder of God's greater plan. The plan to bring our daughter Emsley into our lives through adoption. And ultimately, this shows us how much God loves us because He too adopted us into His family. I understand and appreciate this more than I ever could before. We are so happy with how God worked out our lives. I'm happy to have endured through infertility because of the beautiful place that Christ has brought us to.

My First Mother's Day

I have been meaning to post about what Mike and Emsley did for my very first Mother's Day. This day meant so much to me...I have had so many Mother's Days dreaming about what it will be like to be a mom. But Mike, being the amazing husband he is, made me feel like so special. We went to church and they asked any new moms of a month or less to stand up...I was the only one. Then the woman who had been a mom the longest stood up and it was something cool to thing that one day I will be there. When Emsley is older and I have parented her with as much ability as God has given me, I will be there. Then we went home to feed Emmy and then went to lunch at Johnny Rocket's at the Block in Orange. Emsley was a little fussy but let us enjoy our meals and reminiscing over past years as we waited for God to bless us with a child. Then Mike handed me a card that said "To my mommy" on the envelope. "Emsley" got me a card and wrote some sweet things about how much she loves me and is glad that I am her mommy. Then "she" got me a frame that says I heart mom and Mike printed pics to put a picture of her and me in it.

Then Mike got me a card and it brought me to tears. We have been through so much together over the years and he told me that he loves me more each day as he sees me being a mother to Emsley. That man...my goodness he is wonderful. Then he hands me a bag and before I open it, he says that he was going to get me a cliche gift of jewelry or something but wanted to get me something a little more special. He got me the perfume I have been wanting forever (Stella McCartney Nude)...and said that he wants Emsley to have a scent to recognize me by. So sweet and thoughtful...again, brought me to tears.

It was by far the best day ever. I felt so loved and cherished by the two people who mean the most to me in the world. Mike is an amazing husband and he and Emsley made me feel so special. I cannot wait till Father's Day to show Mike how much he is totally, completely, and unconditionally loved by his girls!

1 month old

Today Emsley is one month old. I would love to tell you that the time flew by and that I'm sad that my little girl is growing so fast but truthfully...I'm not. The time didn't fly, it actually felt a little slow up to this point (I mean, not a bad slow just a nice pace!) and I love watching her grow. I even look forward to the steps she will take...sleeping through the night, holding her head up regularly, staying awake more during the day, cooing. I don't want Emsley to stay a newborn...I long to watch her grow into a beautiful little girl and see her story unfold.

Here are some stats on Emsley as she turns 1 month:

--Still in newborn size diapers (but not for long!)
--Wears either 0-3 month or 3 month clothes now
--Eats about 4-5 oz every 3-4 hours during the day
--Eats about 4-5 oz every 4-4.5 hours during the night
--Makes the cutest pouty lips face ever (she will be hard for us to say no to!)
--Her tears finally started coming a few days ago
--Her eyebrows are darkening (I know it may seem silly to mention but whatever!)
--Grabs mommy's hair every chance she can get
--Will hear her daddy and me when someone else is holding her and look for us
--Makes the best sleeping noises, like grunts
--Loves to be held close to our chests and be patted continually
--Enjoys her chairs that vibrate, bounce, or swing
--Hates being naked but loves bath time when she can just sit and relax in the tub
--Sleeps SOOO good in the car

But most of all, the best thing she has done is stolen the hearts of so many people. Her life is already so rich with family and friends...she is so lucky.

Also, here is a link to the blog post (click here) from our adoption coordinator on how she met Amy and her view of our special relationship. We love Miss Amy!

Well, we love Emsley so much and can't wait to see what this month holds for us!

Emsley's 2 week check up

Today we went for her 2 week check up (well its actually 3 weeks!) today with Dr. Huckaby and everything went WONDERFULLY! Here are her stats:

Weight: 10 lbs (our little chunker!) and in the 95th percentile
Height: 21 1/2 and in the 90th percentile

She is also starting to stare at her daddy and I and listens for our voices. She is sooo close to holding up her own head and her legs are really starting to get stronger. She will push herself up now while we hold her. I also would like to think she is about ready to sleep longer at night and the Dr agrees. Because she is properly gaining and growing she is pretty stinkin' close!

Dr. H said she is doing great and we don't go in until her 2 month check up. Then she gets shots...boo!

I will be posting a picture of Emsley soon because she is getting so big...so quick!!! Love it!

Just some pics...

Our little girl is getting so big already so I thought I would post some pics of her from the last couple weeks. She is such a great baby and I'm looking to celebrating my first Mother's Day with her and Mike tomorrow.

She's so cute it hurts!

Our friend Christina said this when she came over to visit Emsley! And boy is it true. Our little girl gets cuter every day and we fall more in love with her. We have had so many visitors and been absolutely loved on. We now know what her cues are for wanting to eat, going poo, and when she wants to be held. She has already started eating 1 more ounce of formula...our girl is growing so much. She has fuller cheeks and even stays awake without being fussy so we enjoy her beautiful eyes more.

I thought it was about time to share her birth story...

On Saturday the 16th, Amy called me at like 11:45 pm and let me know that she was headed to the hospital because she was having signs of preeclampsia (headache, blurry vision, and high blood pressure). After texting through the night and letting us know she was waiting most the night, we got a text from her at like 7 in the morning saying that they decided to admit her to the hospital and they were going to induce her. We got ready (didn't even feel rushed!) and headed to Loma Linda to watch our daughter be born.

We were at the hospital in her room for over 12 hours before the baby was born. During that time, we just hung out with her, played cards, talked, shared funny stories. All the while, Amy was having pretty regular contractions but didn't even feel them. She is the toughest woman I have ever known. It wasn't until about 6pm that she started hard labor. She was feeling the contractions and was definitely feeling this little girl moving into position. She got her epidural and her water finally broke and then the pushing started. Mike and I were able to be in the room for the birth. Mike took a place in the room that where he couldn't really see much but I got the full view. At around 11 pm, the doctors realized that the baby was sunny side up and was having a hard time coming down the canal and with each push, her heart rate was dropping. They decided that they would need to suction her out so that she didn't have any complications. Once they brought the whole team in, they let Amy do one more big push and it was at 11:59 pm that Emsley Breanne made her grand entrance into the world! They looked at the group of us with Amy and asked who would cut the cord...Amy looked at me and told me to go for it. It was such a beautiful experience getting to not only be there as my daughter was born but to also be such an important part of it as well.

They wisked Emsley over so the NICU team could look at her...her color wasn't great and was a little floppy but within a couple minutes she perked up and gave her a bath. That night feels like a blur but yet I cannot forgot the emotions and events that transpired. We took Emsley to the nursery and finally got to our own room to rest at 4:30am. It was a rough night, Emsley probably had a headache...birth is an absolutely traumatizing time for a baby. People always assume that it is hard for the mother but I saw it all from a different perspective this time. I had an emotional morning (I will write about my experience with adoption post partum another time).

On the 18th we were able to visit Amy and just hang out. She held her daughter and we just hung out. Like friends, which is exactly how I would describe our relationship with this amazing woman. After a great time with her and her mom that afternoon, we took a nap with little Emsley and came back later. We left the baby with Amy and our adoption coordinator Michelle and grabbed everyone Claim Jumper (Amy's request!) and brought it back to enjoy together. It was a celebration dinner. We gave Amy the gifts we got her...a recipe book for her culinary aspirations, some bath goodies for relaxing, and an engraved jewelry box with a bracelet. The bracelet had a heart pendant that we engraved Emsley Breanne on one side and "a gift from above" on the other (that is what Emsley means). Amy cried and hopefully she got a tiny glimpse of how much we love and appreciate her for what a gift she gave to us. Amy went around the room and shared how she was feeling and how God just has given her such a sense of peace and led her to this decision. It was AMAZING!

We left the next morning and let Amy hold her one more time and we all left the hospital together. It was so hard to leave Amy...I told her we are not saying goodbye but merely saying see you later (which now seems cliche but oh well!) We miss her often and love that. It means that God worked something absolutely beautiful in this relationship and will continue to bless it in the future.

Now Emsley is 10 days old and as of this past Monday at 5pm, Amy's rights were officially terminated and she is ours. No one will come and take her away from us. Our daughter. Wow...

Introducing Emsley Breanne

Well, after what felt like a long wait for us, the time finally came for our daughter to make her grand entrance into the world!! After Amy (birthmom) had a tough and somewhat long labor, she finally arrived on April 17th at 11:59 p.m. She weighed 7lbs 10 oz and is 20 inches. I want to do a longer post with some of the details of her birth and our time with Amy in the hospital but that will have to be for another time (because it is an amazing story!)...I have a beautiful little girl I would rather stare at!

First Family Photo

Here she is!

Our Daughter's Room!!!

Finally!!! I took some pictures of the baby's room today and decided it was about time to show off this room. There are still a couple little things that we have to decorate the room but one of them is a thing with her name (which we can't put up till after she is born!) and the other a good friend is helping us design. It is definitely a room that we are so happy about. We have worked hard at making this room comfortable and beautiful for our child to be in (well, maybe more for us to be in!). Mike worked hard at painting the cabinet a year ago with my dad and then painted the bookcase (which we both LOVE LOVE LOVE!).

This is the view of the room from the door. The colors are neutral so we were ready for a boy or a girl. We have tried to make it more girlie since finding out we are having a girl.

This is the crib, cabinet and bookcase that Mike painted.

Our gorgeous dresser! I love the window treatments...so sheer and light but adds a little something.

This the bookcase that Mike painted. He did such a great job and I love that he is wanting to do these projects and take on his dad role! Mike took such time and care in painting this cabinet and picking the colors just right...I think it looks amazing.

This is the recliner and closet...lots of space for this little girl!

My parents bought this baby bedding for us over a year ago. We love it and I personally think it is very girlie with that print on it. And the colors are so neutral and calming...which is what we wanted in our baby's room.

Mike also painted these canvas for the room...we like the stars and moons. We also have a moon nightlight by the door so it keeps with the theme.

We have bought and gotten so many bows for this little girl. She is gonna be such a girlie girl!

Even though the room was blue, brown and yellow...we had to do some pink somewhere. She has some cute outfits...which I cannot wait to put on her!

Last is the cabinet...I know you can't see the outside but this is all the diapers, wipes, formula and bottles we have so far. I know we will need so much more but this is a good start.

Well, glad I could show off our little girl's room for you all! We are so happy and have LOVED preparing this room for her. It has been waiting for her a year and a half and know that it has been totally worth the wait. We have taken our time getting this room together and now we will actually get to meet her and welcome her home with her own beautiful room!